maybe third times the charm, for me staying gone forever

i ethier like to go shoping or get inked or get pierced wen im depressed but lately idk bout that n stuff thats happened lately really has me thinking if i really should stick round, im hearing from my dad how much of a shity person i am, i make plans to hang out n i get ditched i wonder if neone actually wants to b nice or care bout me, my dog is the only one thats ever happy to c me n wines wen i leve the house but ppl don care, so …….idk wat to do im having lots of trouble figureing out if me ending this all is a good idea, im so tired of sum ppl n my antidepresstion pills rnt working at all n my doc is gonna be changeing them but i don think itll b soon enough everyday feels like a yr or more it just drags on n is crapy allday, it was nice wen i died befor things went black n this kind of peacfulness came over me but they did cpr on me n well im still here, the second time was even better cuz things were worse wen i died then but again sum person did cpr on me, maybe i just need to drive out in the middle of nowhere so theres no one that can do cpr on me or nething that way ill stay dead….