I don’t think that any human ever truly wishes to die. I think all humans desire an ideal lifestyle. Some of them are unable to live it, so they choose to not live at all. Ofcourse, there’s bound to a few people that are an exception to this generalization. I’d like to know why they’d sincerely like to die. What are their motives other than great curiosity of what happens after death?
As for myself, negative feelings often override the positive ones. I find humans in general to be relatively stupid. Humans tend to be more comfortable with believing things that make them feel good than what is real. Sometimes they’re both in the same, but rarely. I can’t say that I blame them, though. It makes sense to believe what makes you feel good, but they do so without acknowledging other possibilities. People believe that their beliefs are actually undisputably true. I have a problem with this because I’m living with people everyday in society that live in fantasies. I am unable to share my realistic views with anyone without hearing their biased remarks in return. This causes me to feel extremely lonely. Lonely in a crowded room
Now I’ll tell you that I feel suicidal. I’ve been feeling this way on and off for years. It almost seems like an inevitability now because I’m really getting tired of trying to make my life here worthwhile. I don’t sincerely want to die, but also don’t want to live the life I’m living. Simple changes can be made, but it is my perception that is the real problem. I can’t change it without being unrealistic; unobjective.
I don’t know about you, but I get real tired of hearing simple responses to people that feel similar to me. They don’t even have to say it to me; I see them everywhere. They tell you that suicide is selfish. They tell you that it’s necessarily a permanent solution to a temporary problem. How do they know that it’s not a permanent problem? What if I’m in prison for life and that’s what’s causing me to feel suicidal? How is that temporary? They also say that phrase with the assumption that as long as there’s a prospect forÂ a better day it’s worth working toward. I disagree. At what point can someone simply get fed up with trying? Are they never justified for doing so in the eyes of a third party? If that’s so, I say that that third party doesn’t understand the pain. You’ll often hear of people that have felt suicidal for years that now feel better. Now they speak of suicide as simply a milestone to overcome. How arrogant. It worked for them so it can work for everyone, I guess is their assumption.
I get tired of a lot of nonsense. I’ve really lost interest in most things in my life and I’ve lost a lot of my will to stick around. Peoples’ ignorance has contributed greatly to this. Just being surrounded by mindless freaks who believe that everything happens for a reason, god is absolutely real, and so is fate. No one knows any of these to be absolutely true, and those that believe in these things are usually unwilling to admit that they possibly don’t exist. How am I to take any advice or any insight from someone who has biased views like this? No one dares be objective.
I get real tired of it and it’s the same thing everywhere I go. Just more stupid people. I get angry about that, but mostly disappointed. Now I see how people are able to operate cooperatively inÂ society. They revolve around core ideas that are not necessarily true. Unfortunately, they don’t acknowledge it.
So why should I stick around? How fulfilling and worthwhile will my life be if I do, anyway? Don’t tell me that I’m special or any other placebo nonsense. What should I do?