My reasons for wanting to suicide comes from the immense loneliness I’ve felt even when I was surrounded by groups of friends. I always got the feeling that no one quite understood me. The people around me just seem to connect better with others and I desperately wanted to be like them. In order to find sanction I would day dream about the perfect romance in which I would never be alone. In a way, I was escaping from reality in order to cope. But there were still days when I felt that if I simply disappeared no one would care and I’d actually be doing society a favor. The thought of no one caring about me or even showing me recognition terrified and depressed me. I wanted to die.
Currently, I’ve been feeling elated. I love myself deeply. I would share how I came to this point but it would be a long story and I don’t think many people would be up to reading a novel lol. All I can say is that, you may not think your life is significant but it is. Do you know how powerful your life is? You can inspire, love, teach, belong, create, dance, hold, sing, touch, smell, and live. If your not going to live for others, than live for yourself, because your fucking worth it, no matter what you did. You could have hurt someone, murdered a person, stole, but the fact that you feel bad about it, horrible even, shows that you care, care quite a lot. Care enough to do something radical about it, so I ask, why not change yourself? Become the person you’ve always wanted to be, no one’s stopping you,but….perhaps yourself.
I want to live because I want to love. Cheesy and a bit cliche, but that’s who I am, can’t really change that for anyone. And I’m not sorry about it either.