Your pain is real but Suicide is not the answer, instead all you will create are more questions. If there is just one person in your life that you love, that you even like, think of them because if you kill yourself they will spend the rest of their lives wondering what it was they could have done different.
I will never forget the morning Patrick was found dead outside my home, the sound of my neighbors voice echoing up the stairway to my room, alerting me that Patrick had a vacuum hose running from the exhaust pipe to the window of his Jeep or the look on his face when he had to tell me that my best friend was gone. For the rest of my life I will remember the trip to the coroners office to pick up Patrick’s belongings that were in his vehicle at his time of death, the smell of exhaust that still lingered on his things, the 2 inches of water that filled containers that were in his vehicle, the water being from the condensation inside the car, the description from my neighbor who opened the door of Patrick’s car that morning and turned off the engine, he speaks of the drops of water falling from above Patrick, and how the entire interior of the vehicle was saturated. These things will forever be inside my head and the pain will be with me forever because there is no way to stop it because I cannot bring Patrick back no matter how I wish for that to happen.
You on the other hand have the power to stop your pain and prevent any others you love from suffering pain as well, get help, call someone, anyone, don’t allow this to beat you and to take the people you love hostage because that is what will happen. If you believe no one cares then you are wrong, so wrong, even if you have no family, there are people who care, who want you to stay alive, you matter, you were born and you were meant to live.
Patrick killed himself on August 9, 2008 outside my home, I could see his vehicle from my bedroom window.
June 12, 1965 – August 9, 2008
(Happy Birthday Patrick….I still miss you so much)