It started with pety family drama. My dad being constantly drunk and/or high. My grandmother drinking 24/7. my brother and sister on there own and my mother working all day with school on the side. Leaving me basically alone for most of my life.
I have dealt with it in many ways. Venting, smoking, cutting, screaming, sleeping, and most recently taking drugs not knowing what they are and hoping that i dont wake up.
Recently my house is going to be foreclosed which led to my father constantly being drunk and constantly yelling and fighting. I just cant take the bull shit anymore.
And tonight was the cherry on top of it all. I have never seen my dad like this before….rediculously stoned and drunk and he scared me. For the first time I showed emotion and cried. My brother came home and yelled at him and defended me, but all my dad could say was “fuck you and get out of my life”. He refuses to talk to me now and i feel like i have only fucked up even more. i just deserve to die….i cant take it….i dont think things will ever get any better.