I live an uncomfortable life under my own roof. I am a 21 yr old indian girl who feels like there is nothing left to live for anymore. Everyday I hold the guilt of committing a big sin, hating my family! They aren’t the worst family around but neither the best. I hate them for not understanding me and giving me the love and support I always needed. They have this complete wrong image of me, continuously negative towards me. I am always in trouble and constantly get told off! I feel like I cant breathe when I want to, how I want to! I have a life full of restrictions on going out etc. I haven’t done anything too wrong in my life, apart from not getting good results. I hate to bad mouth my family or to even hate them but I can’t help how I feel. I cant live with hating my family, the people I am suppose to love most. I feel more towards my friends simply cos they accept me for who I am and understand me better. At many times I have to the decision of ending my life but I feel like a coward. Deep down I know I’m a strong girl but its not about giving up, its about hating to live a life full of guilt and hate! I am so clueless! All I want is a bit of love genuineness and support!
2 comments
Hey Ms. Mess:
I am so sorry that you feel the way that you do! You seem to be a beautiful individual with such great potential. Parents sometimes can be the same ones to get us down , when in factuality they are suppose to lift us up. I do not believe that you hate your family. However, I feel as if you resent them a bit for not giving you the freedom needed to mature into the strong, independent, beautiful, loving, intellectual young lady that you know you are and can be.
I think your parents are just being the typical parents…..overprotective, annoying, wierd, embarassing, overly loving etc. (how comical?). Even so Ms. Mess, you really should be worried when your parents allow you to act however you see fit without correcting or punishing you for it.Again i reiterate, your parents are the typical parents, perhaps even a bit overbearing at times, they love to be in control and ensure that you want the life that they want for you.
However, I have no doubt in my mind that if you act responsibly and maturely that perhaps they would lighten up on you. Prove to them that you are capable of being your own woman and handling your own decisions and that if you ever need assistance that you would come to them.
Your parents should remember that”we all will laugh at gilded butterflies”. Butterflies are so beautiful that we want to make them become ever more precious to us, so to trap them, we cover them with gold(protection) to ensure it meets its maximum potential, but even in all its splendor and refinement, a butterfly is a butterfly. It must have freedom to grow into its own true unique beauty.
I hope that all goes well with you and your family. If you ever need to speak to someone without be judged, contact me at angeloflight91@hotmail.com
I have a slight hatred towards my family as well. I feel really guilty for it, but I can’t stop the feelings. Have you always felt this way towards them?