This is the first time I’m admitting to this “feeling” it’s been a long journey, starting out as a strange feeling almost a nagging unsettling pain in the pit of my stomach. It’s taken years to creep up into my brain. It use to be just a whisper “I’m so tired when will this end?” Now it screams in my ears…words like useless, lonely, uneducated, old, stupid, lazy, ugly.
Now I seldom leave my house, I find myself staring into space quite a bit and i don’t care….about anything. I don’t know how to help myself anymore. I don’t know what I hope to accomplish here.
3 comments
I hear you, and I’m listening NBlurry. I’m on yahoo. I get the stares, too. I get emabrrassed when I get caught staring into the middle space like that, but it happens. Trying to visualize a new reality. Of course, surfing the internet can be fun, too. Wanna talk about it?
N Blurry:
You are not alone! Even when you think there is noone there who understands you and you cannot find someone who cares….think again. Believe it or not, someone out there needs you to survive. Useless…try worthy of all things that are great in this world, lonely….i highly doubt it! I could always use a friend to put a smile on my face:), Uneducated….pshhh you can always go back to school and who cares anyway…..most educated persons are just as unhappy as some of us, Old????……only clothes get old. Like wine you get better with age. Life experiences begin to make you a wise person so screw those green 20 year olds lol, stupid????…why take life so serious? Maybe if some of us would lighten up and become stupid we would be more happier, who wants to know everything!, Lazy…..get up and try sumtin new. Parasail, Mountain climb, go to a movies…shoots paint the town red. Life is yours to control. And lastly, ugly??? Beauty comes from the inside and from there manifests itself in ways we can’t imagine. Beauty is in everything and everyone. Therefore beauty is not only in you…beauty is you! Be all that you can be and find out what makes you happy in life and take advantage of it. Peace be with you:)
Contact me at angeloflight91@hotmail.com if you need someone to talk to.