I’ve been waiting for hours for someone to talk to. I’ve been going back and forth between rooms, about to ask my mother to help me. But then, I turn around and walk away. She’s not going to understand anyhow… I e-mailed the help group i found online, the Samaritans. But they’ve taken hours upon hours to reply. I’ve only received two replies in about three days.
I know it sounds dumb, but I’m so afraid of death that I want to die. I don’t see a future ahead of me. I see me dying somehow, whether its by my own hand or not, and every one moves on with their lives.
I’m so sure of something happening I started making my “will” today. Â Though I have nothing of major importance, I thought it would still be nice. I mean, who’s going to get my notebook? My notebook knows me better than anyone else. I write everything in it. Â My luck, I’d give it to someone and they’d burn it along with the rest of my stuff.
All of the kids at school think I just want attention and always make fun of me. What kind of a life is this? The only thing I had to look forward to was a good debate with my History teacher on Obama.
I tried getting help, but then I lost it. My school counselor tried getting me in touch with someone from the Boys And Girls Club. But, I never called. I can’t face people I don’t know and tell them my problems. Online, its different. but I still don’t like it.
I can’t have anyone to talk to, can I…? I’m just going to die… And then there will be nothing to left to worry about. My mother wanted to move into a new house… Well, they’ll have enough rooms and everything now…