I honestly don’t know how to describe how I feel about even posting here. There are so many things going right in my life, and yet I believe that so much more is wrong wrong wrong. I’m married to a wonderful woman, and that is, and she is the highlight of my life. Not one minute before I met her I had “decided” what I would do for whatever my lifetime would be… Ugh this is hard… Anyway, leave it to the Hollywood Conspiracy to make an axiom a funny, “The nerds were right.” I believe the nerds are still right about the world and the future because they’re making it happen. They’re killing everything softly.
 My plans to do something about it, game for game a “Suicide Run” (email if you know the reference) were shot all to hell (hardy har) when I met the woman who is now my wife, and its frustrating. I have to stand idly by and wait for her to learn what I’ve always known. I don’t have to preach or anything. I just let her talk to me like she’s a kid who’s excited about the grand scope of her favorite color and how it’s all over the place. It’s sooo god-damn frustrating… The wait. Ugh, what a ramble I have here…
I’ve rationalized myself out of committing to suicide so many times I’ve lost count. Why? I can still find things to enjoy… Like right now, I’m enjoying this. Nobody cares about what goes on here because hey, it’s suicide. The shiny happy people have their worlds to live in and I believe in the Matrix, so to speak. I’m dying as I type this from poisoning. It’s not cool. Not cool at all. But the nerds have always been right about the FDA and GMOs and the CDC and WHO and DARPA and the NWO and it’s not like the population cannot overpower them by numbers and willpower, it’s that they, probably like a lot of folks here, have been convinced that they never had their own power to leave a situation behind, physically and/or mentally, and move on out of self-justification.
God, this sucks. The nerds convinced me to aspire to be a superhero only to slam my mind into the gutter by saying it cannot be done. Then I find the RLSH. I’m so fucking jealous. I hate living through fiction! FUCK FICTION! Fuck the nerds! Fuck religion! Fuck the NWO! Fuck this this reality were living in! FUCK YOU! FUCK THE STARS! FUCK THE STARS! goddmantnthiussucks.. shit.
nofuckyoiul4eorfshit NO. I’m not doing this. fuck you im not giving in you first you bleak fucks you first. god this sucks. HEY GOD WHERE ARE YOU? NOT ONLINE I BET! imso confused fuck this im not doing this im not but im gonna post this and fuck you too. i have no friendswhocares