I want to say that I’ve never been as stressed as I am now but my whole life has always been so filled with it. I grew up with a skitzophrenic unmedicated mother from age 5-16. My two older siblings are mentally slow and one of my younger brothers suffers from severe autism. I spent my whole childhood in fear of my mother and had a constant worry that she would die due to multiple suicide attemps. I have done everything since adulthood to seperate my self from the constant family stress and create happiness for myself. Instead my mother repeatedly calls and emails me about my youger brother being in juvinile detention, or my sisters most recent suicide attemp, or that my older brother was getting strangled by his abusive girlfriend. Being the most normal child I have always been made to feel responsible for not taking better care of my family and the fears of my mother dying have only escelated to real deep fears that multiple family members will die and I will be responsible. Even when I try to block all of this out and hide it in the back of my mind I still have constant stress. I have a guy calling me over and over threatening to take me to court because of a breached lease and money I can’t even begin to imagine being able to pay off. My previous boyfriend was a horrible person who said the worse things to me and made me feel like nothing. After 3 years I was finally able to leave even after he attempted to kidnap me and all this time later it turns out that I’m required to pay all this money. I also have had deep stress at work. I’m in constant fear of losing my job. After working there for years and even recently getting employee of the month and never having anyone not like me or feel that I’m doing a bad job… I now have my boss constantly trying to get me in trouble for things that didn’t even happen. She is looking so hard for a reason to fire me and I’ve done nothing to her. She even had claims that I did nothing and wad even slouching on a day I worked harder than I ever have before. I need every penny to pay my bills and without a job I can’t survive. I feel so many aches and pains from the stress and it’s do hard to breathe. I’ve always wanted so badly to have a normal life with normal little stresses but I can’t escape it. It will always follow me becoming more and more unbarable.
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These people should be able to help you.
http://www.samaritanshope.org/
Miss I admire the way you have tried to distance yourself to make you happier. I myself am locked in constant stress. (no where near what you may be feeling, so no I am not trying to relate on the same exact level.) I was stuck for a year with a girl whom I loved very much so who was suicidal and I know the aches and pains that come from the stress you feel. The fright that fills your heart and the unbearable day to day worries. You have been doing well for yourself though, some would have given up by now. I see that you are reaching your final limit though and I will try to give you some advice that I hope will help you out. I know it is hard to distance yourself from problems that continuously follow you. You have come here for help and that is the first part of the puzzle to healing yourself. You should keep strong and have faith in yourself, everyday, try to tell yourself that the stress that will come along in your day is a part of life that is against you. Also, remember to think that all this stress is another reason to go and try and find something to make you happier. Find a few things you love to do and switch them up every now and then and do them in your free time. Whether it be walking through a park, or even reading a good book. Mine personally is to walk through the graveyard when my mind is full of questions, doubts, and problems. It is a quiet place to think and actually still feel peaceful. If something depresses or stresses you out, try to find something equally healthy for yourself. Indulge in something once in a while. While you are walking somewhere, maybe buy your favorite fruit and sit on a hillside somewhere if you can. Go for a peaceful drive once in a while without music and your windows open. If you are near any mountains this would be ideal. Just try to find anything that will help you keep your mind off the problems for a few hours or so. Running away isn’t a full proof answer to your problem, but by adding a few things to this plan you might be able to reclaim your life and be happier. 🙂 Please let me know if this at all helps you.