Why Im y obsessed with death so much is this normal ?

I listen to death songs, I like watching a movie that involves a suicide. Recently I saw boy interupted a story about a boy who commited suicide by jumping out a window. Everyday I think about death, I dont sleep well, I dont eat well, whenever I eat I feel like throwing up. When I cut myself or try I dont feel anything , especially with an elastic I dont feel anything . I always dream about my funeral and I dont know why. Some people are always seem to worry about me . At work a girl told me I look depress of life , I dont know why she said that. It feels like she knows how I feel. I didnt tell her anything she just keeps telling me I seem depress. Why is that? Why do people tell me that? . I dont tell them . What is wrong with me ? Why do I think about suicide so much. I’m kinda sick of it but I keep thinking about it everyday .