It hurts everything just plainly hurts.
I hate.
I seeth.Â
IÂ sleep.Â
And than I wake up as it starts all over again
I don’t know why but theres this bitter hatred, a part of me is unforgiving to them all. My brother, my sister, my mother, my father. Everyone. Its this hate. When I talk with them, I remember horrible times that have happened. And I hate.
Everything just seems so unreal, fake, as if this world is just turning and turning waiting for something to happen. And me, I continue this monotonus cycle of hate, never forgiving, never forgetting, always hating. That’s all it is. This endless stupid cycle! I hate it, I hate everything. I can’t forgive, I can’t forget.
All of these memories haunt me, and everything never goes right. I don’t know what to do.
Nothing ever goes right, nobody understands its just all this crap of some damn cycle. Nothing changes. Maybe it’s better if I die? Is that better? Than I won’t need to feel this crap. Nobody ever fucking understands, it’s just retarded. All they do is judge do you know why I do what shit I do? Do you understand? Do you suffer? Do you want to die?
It pisses me off and I’m thinking once again, my life is pointless, I have no meaning and I never will, it’s all just bullshit. I live for no reason, and it’s a useless waste of life. Just a burden a child nobody ever wanted or needed. Maybe it’s easier to die. Maybe I’ll be happier. Maybe things will go right if I’m gone.
1 comment
Mmmmmm blind rage and hatred.
The only two feelings I have in this world are disgust and loathing. I, like you, hate everyone and everything. I hate the sound of children laughing and playing. I hate sunny days. I am revolted by the sight of two people in love, even my own friends and family. Do you get that feeling whenever you see someone smiling or laughing like, “Come on over here, I got something for your ass that will wipe that joy right off your stupid fucking face.” If I only could I’d set the world on fire.
I have felt this way for almost 15 years now. I loved it at first when I was young. I didn’t care about anything or anyone. It made me feel powerful and alive. But I was never happy. Now I’m almost an old person. I am completely isolated and alone. My disgust and hate has alienated me from the world. I used to be the social butterfly if you will when I was younger but now people and the world scare me, well they really just piss me off and I don’t care about them at all. I wish death daily and wake up pissed off every day that I didn’t just die in my sleep.
I guess what I’m trying to say is be careful with that hate. It will consume you, chew you up, and spit you out. All the things you said are true. Nobody understands, nobody really cares, the world always seems to give you the shaft, your life (in the grand scheme of things, no offence) is completely pointless, and most of all “it’s all just bullshit.” However, if you accept all these things and give up looking for the positive you are going to wake up 15 years from now alone, depressed, pissed off, and hating yourself more than anything else. And you will have forgotten how to feel normal and not be filled with hate so you will be, like me, damned.