I finally left my abusive boyfriend after 6 years, I lost my family and friends because of him and he destroyed my life in every possible way. I have no confidence, I can’t work, I can’t pay my rent, I’m ugly and useless and he found where I am living which I’m devastated about, I told the police and they told me to call them if ever he came here. Well he did, he smashed up my flat and punched me in my head repeatedly telling me to die over and over. I called the police and they haven’t even arrested him, I kept asking them why, and then today a police woman told me that they decided not to arrest him!! He says that I’m better off dead, he’s been saying it for years and now I believe him. I wish I had died when he was punching me, all I was thinking with each punch was ‘please brain just die and take me with you’. Â I’m not even protected by the police I’m so worthless and I have no-one, not one single person in my life. I just want to die.
3 comments
You are not worthless – don’t believe the words of a loser violent boyfriend. What does he know? He doesn’t even know how to properly treat a person.
It took me a long time to leave my violent ex. He threatened to kill me and my (our) baby boy. We stayed at a shelter three times. It really helped.
Can you find a shelter for abused women in your area? I know that made all the difference for me. They gave me a nice room, provided food and emergency clothing and supplies, and best of all – I was safe. They even provided counseling and services to help me get back on my feet and to use the legal system to help keep him away.
I don’t know how things are where you live, but I found out about the shelters from near the front of the phone book. I never even knew they existed, and I was surprised at how nice it was. I hope you can find one too – even if you have to look further than where you currently live. Don’t give your ex the satisfaction of taking and ruining your life. Don’t let him hurt you anymore. The best way to get back at him is to stand up on your feet and overcome. I went from leaving him and having nothing – to getting help and getting a degree and a great job. My ex is scum for what he did. So is yours. But you can rise above this. There is help out there. Check the phone book. Make calls. Search the internet for . Do whatever you have to. Things can get better. Just don’t give up.
Here’s some online sites that provide resources and phone numbers to get help for those that live in Canada and the USA. If you’re from another country, you should also be able to search for help online.
IN Canada and the USA:
Resources and Phone Numbers to call:
http://www.womensweb.ca/violence/resources.php
Information about Violence Against Women:
http://www.womensweb.ca/violence/resources.php
Canadian Links – Shelters for Abused Women:
http://www.shelternet.ca/splashPage.htm
USA Shelter Help Hotline Numbers:
http://www.safehorizon.org/index/get-help-8/call-our-hotlines-51.html
If you have to try more than one place, that’s ok. Don’t give up. There ARE people out there who want to help. Reach out and find them. You ARE worth it!
Yeah, that sounds like a really bad situation and your perception of it seems to be accurate. I’m here if you’d like to chat. I don’t have the same dilema as you, but I do feel suicidal because of what is going on, so we share the same feeling. You can add me on http://www.facebook.com/TheyCallMeManhattan if you like. I’m on there everyday.
I have been abused myself, not physically mind you, but emotionally and sexually by my first husband for 12 years. You have no confidence because he systematically took it from you in order to bolster his own (most likely very weak) ego. You feel worthless because he made you feel worthless so he would feel better about himself.
You are NOT worthless, but because of the soul destroying nature of abuse you now feel as if you are, it feels real, but it’s not!!! Please don’t let him win, please show him that you are stronger and better than that! Find help, find protection, if you at first fail try again, it is out there. My best wishes are with you!