Hello there,
I am 17 years old and am fairly depressed at the moment. My life has been going up and down and I fear I have a little bit of a split personality…
I have ruined friendships because of this and at school, I am always a different person than that at home.
I have been considering suicide for about four to five weeks now, but my family is all that can hold me together. However, I am also at a boarding school, which means my family is further and further away from me than I had hoped.
It feels good to let someone know about this, because no one knows my suicidal tendencies. I have been involved in self-mutilation, such as cutting scars on my face, resembling my favourite character ever to exist, The Joker.
I am obsessed with him and I try to be incarnate of him.
I am the Joker. I am him. I am the evil when I want to be, and the peace when I want to be. But, I wear many masks, and no one knows the true me.
I need help and I have never sought help from pyschiatrists or the like.
Please, Help me!
5 comments
You said it best when you said – your family holds you together
I don’t know how boarding school works so I won’t claim to know how to take a break- but is a break possible? Can you call your parents and talk to them about your depression?
And remember – we are not here to laugh or judge you or make you feel worse – we are here to help, listen and confide- share stories and to friend….
Please try to tell your parents since you seem close to them. Failing that, is there some professional you could talk to in boarding school? Please hang in there. We all mess up friendships along the way. You will make stronger more permanent bonds. It’s really tough now, but as we get older, these things gets easier.
I understand that being away from your family may have you in a way jumpy b/c they do hold yo together and you may not be able to talk to them everyday. I felt the same way you do when i had to move to Ohio and I was living in a hotel by myself. I had to goto high school and no one was there to hold me together on my BAD days. If you anyone to talk to email me. npazdra@gmail.com I’ll be happy to email and talk.
You are everything, you are nothing, you are sad, you are happy. You are everything and anything but as well as nothing. Life is complicated, hang on because even while you crawl through this tunnel there must surely be light in the end.
Your split personalitys are you, they’re who you are try your best to control them and never let rage re-side.
Remember you are everything and anything. Its your choice, and these masks are also a part of you so you control them.