I have tried to write this 5 times, I’m so malfunctioned and exhausted, every single thing I try to do seems impossible, even writing this. I used to be (supposedly am) a successful sports person and I write about sport, but lately I can’t even feed myself. I used sport to keep me busy from thinking that this life is killing me. Just looking at the world kills me a bit every time. I hate it here. Even talking takes too much effort. For me the spell that this world has us all under, has broken, and that has rendered me completely useless. I can hardly breathe. Some people have a cancer or a tumor that is killing them, for me, it is my mind. The horrors of it are destroying me slowly but surely every passing day, I can’t take anymore. I just want to go asleep and never wake up again in this world, oh please god take me away from here.