I’ve been ‘depressed’ for ages, trying to find out what’s wrong with me and what purpose I can find to live. I sort of wanted to participate more in society but something was pulling me away. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is, I just felt that this world is wrong and bad. My friends try to show me that the world is lovely too and I agree that I live in a ‘great place’ (London) where everything’s glittery and hustle bustle, but I always felt a bit sinister about the world and the past year it’s grown to a large scale, enough for me now to just want to die. I’ve thought long an hard, and sensibly to find any reason to live, but haven’t. Why? Â So tonight I was looking at some of the videos that have been posted on here, and I searched more and more stuff, not sure how or why but I stumbled upon Taliban videos that horrified me, one was a public stoning and it was the most horrifying thing that I ever saw.Â
I was supposed to see this. Please don’t anyone reply to this post by saying that I should not watch this stuff because I strongly disagree, that would be turning a blind eye and pleading ignorance. For years I have been deeply troubled by animal cruelty and child molestation and murder etc and all this corrupt war that goes on. How on earth can ANYONE say that I should find some joy in life because I HAPPEN to live in lovely london and not in MANY other countries that constantly act out pure evil? I MYSELF would feel like a sick b@stard if I COULD find any happiness knowing this goes on in MY world and by MY people.Â
I am officially sickened to be human and to be a part of this world, and I am deeply embarrassed that I have taken any fun and comfort from this place whilst this goes on next door. No-one will render me powerless to this extreme evilness, I will surrender my own life than do that.