I am here as someone that received an opportunity to change … or asÂ I see it, I only failed. Well, my story is that in 2007 I couldn’t deal anymore with anything:Â university,Â family,Â friends, people, nothing. so in septemberÂ I waited to midnight and took a bunchÂ of pills that I colected for months and some that I found in the kitchen … result? here I am! an hour later after I took the pills I woke up feeling terrible and for some stupid reason I thought I was paying for my ‘suicide’ thinking that I was still alive but it wasn’t true. Idiot me right? Well my poor mom woke up and got freaked out because she saw me in the floor of the bathroom pale, unable to stand up and vomiting non-stop. AfterÂ that we ended in the only ER openÂ and my ‘doctors’ couldn’t explain what was wrong with me, they thought I was pregnant (?Â¿).
Point is that after the dramatic situationÂ I thought everything was going to be different and for a while I was happy but happiness is just for moments, is not eternal, so since the beggining of 2008 everything is worst, I don’t want to try it again because I love my family and just to imagine the pain I could cause them kills me but I’m scare that if I did once the second is just a matter of when and is not fair that we are here suffering this much! because is not that ‘oh I just want to die today for fun’ this is serious and we’re not able to find support on others orÂ the strenght to say enought with this, I’m not going to waste my life thinking how unhappy I am and instead I’ll do something … just want to know why?Â why isÂ different with us?
Oh by the way if you find what I wrote bad written, my mother language is spanish so that may explain and too long I know, sorry