Dear reader
my name is peter im from leeds in westyorkshire united kingdom im 44 yrs old and need help
i suffer with post traumatic childhood stress syndrome
explosive personallity dissorder
o.c.d
I wont write pages to explain what happened all i will say is from the agess of 10/16 i was sexually abused and have only now found the strenth to talk to the police about it.. ive tryed so many times to die thinking if i was dead the pain would stop but then i wake up in hospital and it starts all over again
ive never been able to keep a relationship going for to long and im unsure if i ever will
in 2009 i was accused of rape x2 and was cleared of it by a jury i new id not done it and new she was tring to hurt me liked id hurt her by leaving but the damage is done now i carnt move on from it every day i wont to die to end these endless thorts off low self asteam and why me!!! i take it out on people who never playted a part in it people who love me but i just push away…. thorts in my head off killing them then thorts off killing my self all rapped up with the past everyday is a nightmere and i wont wake up
2 comments
That is really harsh, I think anyone that was wrongly accused of rape would be affected by it. You need to get counselling, or perhaps even psychiatric help, to allow you to overcome both the short-term and long-term trauma and have the life you deserve.
You have a right to the proper assistance, all you need to do to get it is ask your GP. Your low self-esteem is just an illusion, but I know just saying that will not make it go away. You need someone to help you with these problems.
God bless you.
thank you deeply some times explaining is harder than living with it im a guy that were his heart on his sleeve and help even thouges that i shouldnt my moto is show a little kindness kindness will find you? i guess it got lost in the post box lol
ive taken ur advice and made an appointment with gp so thanks somtimes talking to out siders puts diffrent flip on it i try everyday to deal with it but it hurts in placess i thort was never possible god bless you xx