I’m putting my suicide note online because I have no-one to leave one for in my actual life. I will be found by my landlord probably, or an ambulance or the police so not much point leaving it for them.
I have been sad and empty my whole life. I was born, and as soon as I learned about my surroundings and the world, I lost my soul. I saw the world I was born into and there was no way I was putting my soul into that, so I lost it somewhere, or it ran away because it wasn’t being used. I couldn’t pay any attention to it because if I did I felt hopeless. I wanted so much to do something worthwhile but there is no way of doing that in this life I quickly learned. I don’t mean that I didn’t have friendships and jobs and studied things and had hobbies and was creative – I was all of those things, but they are not real, they hold no truth, all they do is feed this machine, this computer program that we are all slaves to. Anything that is done here is for the entertainment of that program, it fools you into thinking that you are doing something good, it’s a trick, there’s no happiness in any of it, it’s always dangled like a carrot just around the corner, so you keep working towards it, but you never reach it.Â
So I’m pulling the plug on this illusion we all call life. Goodbye, I wont look back for a second on this vulgar mess.
Julie
3 comments
if you have not left this excuse of earth yet i was wondering if you could speak to me.. i feel exactly the same and you tell it in a nut shell
I wish you would write more. Your note stirs something in me. My last suicide attempt was serious, yet something very unexpected happened during that time that has taken me away from the desire for my own death for a little while. I know it may not stay that way, but while I am here I would really like to hear more of YOUR story, Julie, if you are able. Either way, I wish you peace!
Good-Bye, Julie, enjoy your freedom.