The world around you is falling and Life seems to vanish. People are running by. The cries they scream are no longer there. The night grows longer and longer. The main thing is that being alone sucks. I look around for someone and silently call for help. To bad you’re not there to help. You call and say you will be late but never even show. I’ll cry inside and not tell a soul. You will never know the nightmares that are there every day. Three hours tonight, hopefully I’ll have more tomorrow. People are all around and yet I feel so small. I’m not even there.
Days follow days and night follow nights. The years that pass and the years that have yet to come, might not even be there. The rain falls down and I don’t know what to do? They came after me and made me scared. One eye open. My heart not even there. Thunder ran out and I try to hide. No good will come of the small attempts to make things safe. My mind already is broken and shattered. Don’t hurt me mister sorrow, don’t hurt me mister fear. There goes a know on the door and a firework in the sky. I’ll jump and cry and fear for my life. I don’t want to live in this fear. I don’t want to cry anymore. My secret is out and I don’t know what to do. Family is there, I still feel small a little more time maybe I be so tall. It’s up to you dear people who read. What to do now with what you have. Lift your chin and want with a smile. As someone once told me FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!
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4 comments
How is it that I can related to every single word written as if I had written it myself…scarily accurate. How to describe fear and torment in a few short lines…
Hey Nikkiy:
I am not certain as to what it is that you are going through exactly, however, I can feel your pain through your writing. It’s so sad that noone will ever be able to understand what it is that you are going through. However, you don’t have to go through it alone. If you cannot find someone out there that is close to you to talk to about your situation, you can always talk to someone here on this site, including me.
Like I have told many of the person here that are hurting, we all have been through some things that mere words cannot fix….however, the words can help us cope to some extent. I can honestly say that I feel for you. I do not pity you at all, but i do sympathise with you. I wish that all of your pain can go away in an instant and that you can just experience the utmost joy, peace, love and happiness that this world has to offer….but as we both know, it is unfeasible.
I hope that you gain the strenght that is needed to overcome every situation that you are facing. I will keep you in my prayers and I really do hope that your pain will hurry subside. If you want to talk, vent or just have a conversation with someone that refuse to judge you and that will listen to you….then you can contact me at angeloflight91@hotmail.com. May peace be with you Ms. Nikkiy:)
My secret came out rather publically in the media earlier this year and was awful to be mocked that way. I have no career left now and struggle to cope with the images that I see every day as a result of opening up Pandoras box inside my head, that were my childhood memories. I just would give anything for 5 minutes silence, you know, make all the bad stuff I had blocked out go away again but I can’t now and it has cost me everything – a loving partner, wonderful pet, my home, my family, friends, career & worst of all, it has robbed me of me.
Secrets made me create secrets and now they are out, I am nothing, not even the scared little 8yr old boy who first had to go through 4 yrs of depraved torture by 2 vile people. I feel empty, physically and emotionally.
I understand every thing you are saying and I am here if anyone wants to talk. G1974 email me ok. npazdra@gmail.com and I will email you Angel Of Light