More than likely this will become a rambling scatterbrained post that will make sense to only me. It all started when I was 14, I got a job at a local walkup style hotdog joint. my step brother had worked there for a couple of years and he went off on a vacation with his real mother when the boss Nathan Daniels asked if I could work. So I started working there afterschool and on weekends. It all turned strange during the summer after school let out. My boss had gained my trust fully, and he used that trust to manipulate me into, first oral sex on me. Then it progressed until I was around 16. He had me believe he would get me a car and treat me like his son. He was a predator and I was his prey. For this reason my trust level has been low ever since. I then moved out of my parents house, quit school and got a job. I was living with some girl who I was sure that I loved. Then the day came when her parents wanted to split us apart. So I took a lethal dose of xanax and heart medicine, as well as every other pill in the house. Woke up in the icu, and was promptly put into an adolescent mental facility. I watched a kid hang himself and turn blue. I couldn’t tell anyone. I just froze. He died on the table as I went to get an ekg. my mom decided she didn’t want me to kill myself in her house so she gave up her parental rights to the state. So my social worker gets me into a foster home for about 10days. I went thru 10 families before I turned 18 and was free. I spent the next two years living in my car and in roach infested boarding houses. I went thru a few girlfriends here and there. I trusted no one. 6 years ago I met a girl. She wasn’t perfect but she was sweet. we dated for a bit, and due to financial problems had to move in together. Long story short she gained my trust. Now she’s left me alone. Again with my thoughts and horrible memories. But she messages me “you will be ok” and the cliche shit. I made a pact with myself long ago that I wasn’t dying for no girl. Well I lied. I am dying because of u ashley, and I hope that u see this. I should take u with me but I know this will hurt u more. u will see the mess you have made.