I have just spent the last week or so reading through the posts and responses on this site. Firstly, there is are two huge differences involved with suicidal people. One is outside influences that make a person so ‘depressed’ that they feel they can no longer live. In most cases, if you could rectify this persons problems, say for instance, give them money, give them health, make that one person that they love love them back etc, then they would chose life over suicide. The second is the person who simply doesn’t care about the world, or it’s influences, you could offer this person all the money and relationships in the world and they would still want to kill themselves. It’s the world itself that they hate. Â These are very important factors to consider when a person is suicidal BEFORE YOU RESPOND TO THEM. I’m sorry for shouting that last point out, but it is so blatantly dangerous for people who are trying to do something good (and I commend you for trying, but this really isn’t about YOU, or YOU feeling good by doing good). Reading the responses to these posts has deeply saddened me, not because of the posts themselves but because of the responses and ‘advice’ that so many of you are giving. I know even by writing this post, hopefully getting through to those particular people, it wont get through to those, only to the ones who already know what I’m talking about. The rest of you are so BLIND and so wrapped up in your own self. This very site itself is a clear view on how ALONE most people are, and not because there are no voices in the dark, or no hands reaching out to help, there is no real understanding. I guess only the ones who feel like you can understand you. Yet, I have read countless responses of people saying ‘I felt just like you’ but to then proceed in saying how they got better and how they now see some point in living. DO ANYONE OF YOU REALISE HOW RIDICULOUS SAYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO SOMEONE TRULY SUICIDAL IS?? No, and that’s why the world is the way it is and that’s why suicide will NEVER be stopped (not in serious cases).
Like I said, there are those whose suicidal feelings are because of outside influences. These people ideally, want to live, but feel that they can’t. Kind words and similar stories mightÂ alleviate some of their pain and maybe even pull them through this harrowing time. But PLEASE PLEASE learn to spot when your kind words are going to help and not hinder, PLEASE learn this, it is vital. You could be doing more harm than good in most cases on here.Â
You wanna know how you can REALLY help someone that’s suicidal? It’s pretty simple really, lets face it, sharing your stories and offering kind words over the internet is pretty easy and kind of therapeutic for yourself isn’t it? Be honest. So if you really want to help someone (instead of just validating yourself) firstly, take time to read the post TWICE, leaving a few minutes inbetween (because as an outside observer I have noticed that about 95% of the responses on here don’t even really relate to the god damn post very well!). Understand and digest what that person is saying – which category are they in? Do they have outside influences that they need help with? Now here’s the helping bit (and believe me, this is the ONLY help they really want and need);
1) Physically give them what they need (give them a job, find them a job, donate money, pay a bill for them, be their ACTUAL friend (face to face), help them with the disabilities that their illness inflicts on them (do errands, clean their house) take them to the god damn cinema! Do what it is they are asking for! If you can’t do what it is they are asking for TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN, maybe use your ‘communication skills’ to open up a charity dedicated to physically helping people who are suicidal due to their circumstances.
If you cannot do any of that then please GET OFF THIS SITE and stop preying on suicidal people because that’s exactly what you are doing. You are also ‘sick’ yourself. You are thriving on people’s pain to hide and validate your own.
Now; If the suicidal person does not have any outside influences affecting their situation, and they (for many many years) have felt that this world is an awful place to be, let me just guarantee you right now, they have not got here overnight and ‘without a fight’ FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU IGNORANT BUNCH OF PRICKS! (not all of you, a very small few of you are doing okay) just because you are ignorant does not make the person posting ignorant and that’s what you’re assuming. I cannot believe how insulted these poor bastards must feel when they pour their heart and soul into a post and then some idiot responds with insults wrapped up in ‘sweet comforting Â words and advice’. Unless you have super human powers, there is no advice you can give to someone who sees the world entirely different than you do, so unless you give them your own heart, eyes and brain, there is not a lot you can do. You certainly cannot tell them that they just haven’t seen how good the world can be, and you certainly can’t (and shouldn’t) tell them to stay here when it is torturing them to be here. How highhanded of you all? Â It’s like a sober person being at a hard core rave, wanting to leave and some raver on LSD is trying to show them a reason to stay and enjoy it – that in itself makes them want to leave more. The only people that can relate to those in that circumstance are the ones who feel the same and see the world the way that they do. So PLEASE
2) If you read a post that describes this, and those descriptions are NOT your view on the world then LEAVE IT ALONE, keep your own view to yourself! Do not feel sorry for that person. The only way you can help them is by offering to be their friend, tell them you will listen to everything they have to say and that you are interested in their views and that you promise not to subject your own views on the world onto them. The absolute BEST thing you can do for someone in this situation is to offer friendship until the end, however they choose to end it (if they do – not all do) and not judge them or try to talk them out of it, but wholeheartedly be there for them every step of the way.
If you cannot offer this then please GET OFF THIS SITE and go help someone else, the poor, or your local elderly folk. This is serious stuff here, it’s a persons life and death that’s happening here, not the samaritans! I am not saying that anyone on here trying to help in the wrong ways is a bad person, of course I see that you are trying to help in some way, but it is wrong. It’s exactly the same as handing someone a hammer to do the job of a screwdriver or someone not qualified to do heart surgery.Â
Those who are suicidal without any outside influences, the ones who view the world as very wrong, haven’t gotten here overnight, or in a matter of months. In most cases it goes way back to their childhood. They have more often than not tried very hard to fit in, to give life a go. They have no doubt looked into religion in the hope it can help them, and in nearly all cases, they have read all the self help books and ‘life changing’ books so they are probably more aware than you of all the sayings and tactics to see the world better. Do you really think that what you are saying is some revelation to them? You must do or you wouldn’t say it.Â
If you don’t believe me, please take some time to read back on all the seriously suicidal posts on here and read the responses and count how many of those people posting responded to those responses positively. Maybe you could come back and say for instance, okay 2 lives were saved out of 1000, but at least that’s 2 lives that were saved so we have done a good job. But how many lives were pushed by the responses? How many read those responses and went immediately and topped themselves? I feel sad reading the posts on here but reading most of the responses makes me feel like killing myself!
Please guys, really think before typing out response and ask yourself why you are here if you yourself are not suicidal, or you are not willing to physically get involved with these people in some way. If you have a deep need within yourself to get involved on here and the only way you have convinced yourself you can do that is from the comfort of your own home in your spare time, then at least offer you phone number to actually talk to them – if you can’t even manage that, and have convinced yourself that your wonderful skill of typing out kind words on a computer is your purpose in life then please, I am begging you, keep your own opinions to yourself and keep your kind words neutral.