I am such a coward.Â why am i so afraid to follow through on my attempts. I know that my everyday life is much more painful than any method of committing suicide. Everyday hurts so why cant i do this. is it the pain or the fear of what comes after. i dont know all i know is i hate me and i hate my life. i suffer everyday and i want it to end. Â I think maybe i shouldÂ get some bug foggers and set them off in a small enclosed area it should be painless right? then i get scared that it wont work and i’ll just get sick or go blind and end upÂ in the hospital with large billÂ because thats the type of stuff that happens to me. I am so lost. i dont know how to escape.