The problem is . . being human

I spent the majority of my life despairing at the fact that we are all born into slavery, the knowledge of which gets you ostracized and medicated. I gave up a long time ago on trying to live apart from this system, it’s impossible. 

Now I have gotten so bad with my despair of living that I find everything about being a breathing fleshy human being, absurd and just another prison. we are slaves to this body that we carry around with us. We must keep cleaning it, styling it, feeding it, exercising it. I feel sick and annoyed now every time I shave my legs, brush my teeth, have a period. I have no idea why I was born feeling trapped inside a body and forced to do things that seem ridiculous to me. I have absolutely no idea why whatever it is that is ME, the thing that is trapped inside the flesh, the thing that wants to not have an ‘image’ or a face, and just exist everywhere and nowhere. I have no idea why I want to be the breeze in the trees, or a wave in the ocean or the colours of the rainbow, or a seagulls flap of their wings. I have no idea why I want to be the feeling of pure love, or the sound of laughter without having to use a mouth or a body, or words. I have absolutely no idea why I was born this way, born into a prison that is even worse than most peoples because I am so very aware of it.