This is my story

I have recently joined this site….and i have already read many stories on how people want to die and people yelling at people. I’ve decided it’s time for my story. i have been depressed since the age of 12. there was a very personal life changing experience at that point in my life. Recently after my 13th birthday i made my first cut during church. how ironic was that. i was at church to be saved but yet i was “mutilating” my self. My depression began to grow to the point where i started to “halucinate.” i didn’t know that what i was seeing or the people i was talking to weren’t real until i would go out in public an get strange looks or people would ask me who i was talking to. a little later in life about the age of 15 i got into the occult and started consulting with demons. (for those who don’t believe in God and heaven and hell that’s your own personal thing. i’m just saying what i experienced) i’ve experienced demonic possesion and still suffer from it in ways. As i got older my cutting became much more severe and there wasn’t a day that i didn’t contimplate suicide. my first attempt was at 14. ive have attempted it more that once since then. when i was 15 i was diagnosed with sever depression and was almost treated for schizophrenia. I was to be put on meds rite away, buy my mother said no. she didn’t want a crazy daughter. I can not be left alone, because my mind will start to wander and i become a danger to myself. the last time i cut it was a series of a 100 cuts in the course of a 3 day period. I’m not going to kill myself so people don’t need to leave me comments on how i shouldn’t do it. I’m just putting my story out there for those that feel alone. You are not alone. I am willing to listen to anyone that needs someone to talk to or someone to listen that really does understand. not like alot of these idiots on here that don’t know what they are talking about.