Â Â Â Â I am not going to write the typical suicidal rant here. Rather, I am going to vent my enlarged, bilious spleen and wonder if any can give me one good reason as to why suicide is not the best alternative to a world completely and utterly sick in its soul and mind.
Â Â Â Â For a start, I am staring down the business end of fifty. In the blink of an eye, an entire life was wasted in the pursuit of everything our families, our pastors, our teachers, and our government told us were the worthwhile things. Married at 23 and a father of two by 30, a degreed engineer working to make other ass-nuggets rich, and held ransom by all these so-called “normal” desires. The problem is, when you spend a lifetime caring for everyone else, most of them ingrates and flaming shit-heels. The only reward, ladies and germs, for devotion, hard work, and faith, is more ingratitude, scorn, and a longing for the release of death.
Â Â Â Â I look around at the world, and I come to the swift and sure conclusion that there is no value to be found anywhere. Our society is filled with all manner of brain-dead zombies who think watching American Idol or that other idiot show “Dance Retard, Dance” (or whatever it’s called) is the be-all and end-all of existential reward.
Â Â Â Â They are full to gills with the shit they watch, think, and believe.
Â Â Â Â Â Women are poisonous snakes who confuse using people as empowerment. Men are cowards who will sell their own souls into slavery for a whiff of vagina. Children are illiterate, violent little thugs who actually believe their ignorance and uselessness are standards of identity.
Â Â Â Â Â I actually pity them. For all of their empty and pathetic rebellion, they will still end up chasing fulfillment through rampant consumerism. And one day, they will reach half-a-century and realize that their entire lives were lies foisted upon them.
Â Â Â Â God doesn’t give a shit. Suicide is supposed to be wrong because ‘life is a blessing”. What it all amounts to is a God who likes to randomly inflict pain on most, and reward upon the lowest of our race. God laughs at all of us, and Christ was the straight-man in the comedy routine. Prayers mean nothing. Belief means nothing. God is to human life as a virus is to a healthy, living cell.
Â Â Â Â I would rather spit in the face of God and kill myself right now. I would then be out of his reach. Better to reign in Hell than be a slave in Heaven…or on Earth.
Â Â Â Â Fuck this world, and fuck his creation. It isn’t fit upon which to wipe my ass.