I would just like to make a post if I may about this site. I found it 4 days ago after being on other similar ones. I am a criminal psychologist and am looking in my spare time to see if I could help anyone that is feeling suicidal. My work is solely about behaviour and not about putting people on medicine if they are depressed. I particularly like this site and the reason for that actually has something to do with a few recent comments. There is an excellent crowd on here who seem to offer real advice and support and some of the discussions on here are brilliant. It is clear that many on here are searching very deep as to the source of their suicidal feelings. This is rarely happening on other sites, so this site has something special and unique and very much needed.Â
A few comments of late have made suggestions that there is some verbal war going on here a lot. I have looked through most posts on here and in my opinion that is not the case at all. Despite one or two (older comments) I think this site is a very healthy place to be. There are some very bright and honest people on here and I agree with a recent comment that, in order to help people, that does not mean you should offer empty words of kindness – they do not work! Those with any intelligence know when words are empty and meaningless, and so that can actually make them feel worse thinking that there is no truth and meaning in the world.Â
I am amused and delighted that there are many on here that can see through manipulating behaviour so well! It’s manipulating behaviour that has society is such a mess and it frustrates me when people don’t notice it and allow it to be. You do not ‘owe’ these people any of your time or attention so don’t be manipulated into thinking that you do. They should be on a different forum in my opinion.Â
You need to remain astute on here and don’t let those who only really want this site to be a place of empty kindness, because then it will loose it’s purpose. From an outsider looking in, and from a professional opinion on behaviour, there is no ‘nastiness’ happening here, just truth, raw emotion and very real support. It is clear that there is an underlying essence of manipulation trying to dirty the waters, don’t let that happen. And please keep at the front of your mind that this sight is called ‘suicide project’ and is not a place for those just needing attention and to make friends, there are other sites for that (self harming forums, depression forums, bipolar forums). But discussions that involve searching deep for causes of suicidal feelings are essential and I am thrilled that this site has started to do that.
5 comments
wow what a wicked message. You are so right about manipluation, i also noticed that a few of the ones trying to ‘restore peace’ to a situation are actually the ones being bitchy but they disguise it in nice words, that’s manipulation.
This site has changed in recent weeks, a much needed change as well. When I first came on here, I was really alarmed by some of the responses that were given to the poor sods posting a suicide note or cry for help. It was just pointless meaningless nonsense like ‘think of what you will do to your family, don’t do it my mum killed herself, find your purpose, you will regret it’ I’m so glad that it’s not just me that sees this sort of stuff as dangerous, never mind ignorant. I could see instantly that these ‘helpers’ were merely doing something to make them feel good and really had no concern for the person posting and have no understanding of that person either.
Then someone posted a new thread telling these ‘helpers’ to back off, I was thrilled that the majority of the responses were in agreement but of course it got the backs up of the offended ‘helpers’. But at least it brought the topic up for discussion and I believe that was the start of the change.
I also believe that it was around this time that this ‘bullying’ thing started to emerge. The only people talking of the bullying were the ‘helpers’ that had been offended. Fortunately someone even brought that up, saying that the concern is NOT for the ‘helpers’ but for the suicidal people. SO WELL PUT.
There is clearly no bullying going on here, I cans see through that little game myself and I am so thrilled that most people can too.
I just want to bring up an example of something that has really bothered me for ages. Here is a link to a post made, please see the first reply from a person named LessWorse. This is clearly BULLYING and of an horrific and EVIL kind. I felt sick to my stomach when I saw it. Thankfully no others shared this cruel and sadistic view. So this shows that SOME ‘helpers’ on here just have their own agenda and that is to spread hate that is hidden either in religious views or ‘nice’ but clearly manipulative words. This site is about SUICIDAL PEOPLE and not the ones who are against it. If someone can relate and can offer support to anyone on here then by all means do so, but any person that is seen to be clearly and ferociously against suicide will be noticed and responded to, so if that brings up tension and emotion (or as they would like to call ‘bullying’) then it is THEM that brought it up!
You are right Outline, it is brilliant that people are defending this site and have the best interests of the suicidal people at heart. About time too!
Here is the link I mentioned:
http://suicideproject.org/2010/07/i-believe-mostly-good-people-kill-themselves/
Powell: So well put. For too long this site has been a place where those who are NOT suicidal can come to spread their ego either by forcing their religion onto the vulnerable, or by forcing their own survival stories onto others. It is not difficult to see that it is these people that are bickering between each other!! Because they HATE it when someone tells them that their advice is not helping, in fact it is making things worse.
MANY people have been too fearful to post their true feelings on here in case these vultures attack them (with ‘kindness’ which is not REAL). They HATE that some people have out smarted them.
Now this site is quickly becoming a place where suicidal feelings are talked about it great detail and not attacked. More people now are joining together in long discussions about why they feel this way, just look at the length of some threads, this never used to happen. Suicide should be openly discussed and not judged IN ANY WAY, thankfully this is now starting to happen, but not at the cost of these vultures still trying to create trouble.
I would like to point out that not all helpers and advisors are who I am talking about. I have read some wonderful and beautiful comments from lovely pure souls.
I agree the only trouble caused seems to be by ‘spectators’ of some kind on here. I wont mention any names because the guy profusely apologized shortly afterwards and it was very genuine, but a girl posted her suicide note on here (a very long one) and granted, it did have a lot of subject matter that was a bit off the wall, but this guy called her horrific names and completely destroyed her for no reason whatsoever. Granted he apologized but only after a few people told him he was out of order. I was ecstatic that people did that (I would have done it too but I didn’t come on until after he had apologized).
But this made me aware that there are people on here for some reason that quite clearly don’t have any real ability to offer good advice or support someone in need, and yet they themselves are not suicidal so who are they and what are they doing here? It sends a slight shiver down my spine.
I, like many others, am here to get some understanding about my own suicidal thoughts and I am enjoying reading others feelings and opinions on the matter and others stories and learning about so many new things. This site has helped me a lot these past few days. I totally agree that the ‘vultures’ need to be gotten rid of for they serve no purpose other than to create upset. I’m ecstatic that more and more people have taken a stand against them!
All of this is true. Even though its true, Im a sap so I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Dont kill me >_<