Ever since I remember I have been looked at like something you use and then throw again when u don’t need it. When people need something from me they pretent to like me and i believe them like an idiot, after they’re done with me nobody cares anymore. Even my parents have always made me feel like that, they’ve always prefer my sister over me. I don’t have many friends and I have always lived my life peacefully and as decent as possible. Everyone use to call me non or they use to think I was a lesbian because I was never seen with guys or had many boyfriends, but it was because my dad was a very strict man I he tough that we could only date until we were 18 and I always follow his rules. When I was 18 I went on a vacation and meet my current partner and fell deeply in love with him, after 7 months of dating we got married but and we had a baby girl, but ever since we got together he has put his friends before me, he cares more about them then me he spends more time with them then us, he makes me feel just like everyone else hes only with me when he needs something from me, I feel used!!! I love him with all my heart but it seem that he doesn’t care for me like I do for him. He’s always telling me he loves me but he doesn’t show it. He lies to me when I’m always onest with him, I been having depression for over 3 years now and I have gotten to the point to were I’m cutting my self to relieve the pain I feel inside of me I’ve been having constant suicidal toughs. I believe that its my destiny to keep suffering throughout my life and I don’t want my baby to go threw this with me that’s why I want to die because I don’t wanna be bothering anyone any more I’m of more use dead than alive…. I DON”T WANT TO SUFFER OR MAKE ANYONE SUFFER FOR ME ANYMORE!!!!
5 comments
You ARE being used. Unfortunately you picked a mate isn’t able to connect to you on a spiritual level, and that is completely understandable. We are emerging into a new paradigm and not everyone is on the same level of spiritual development. Your best bet is to find your own set of friends who you can share a deeper connection with while connecting with your husband through the love of your child.
We have started over so many times and I always give 100% to make things better but he keeps lieing to me and we’re on the same page. He loves our child just as I do but I don’t think that is enough for him to be happy with me, like I said before he likes to spent more time with his friends intead of spending time with us his family.
You are very trapped my dear. Raising a child without the emotional support you need and struggling for intimacy. Is your husband hiding from his responsibilities? Try to think about what do his friends offer him over you? How are finances being handled?
idk what his friends offer him over me, and his always leing to me about finances.. I just don’t know anymore..
Sounds like he gets depressed around you, so he tries to escape. Hire a sitter and show him you can still have fun together.