I can’t take this anymore, or maybe I just don’t want to deal with it. I personally never thought love would make you feel broken or worthless. I used to think it was stupid. Somehow I made myself like others, thinking just way they did. I have never let myself fall in love, neither I wanted to. But just a few days you said the words plainly, no reasons, nor did I wanted to hear them. They’re cruel words, ‘break up’, makes you all clumsy, pretty useless. And then it all came to me, I needed you, in my daily life, because I was only the real me when I was with you. I do get the harsh words. You were thinking about the future, marriage. Marriage ? After crying four straight hours, I get it, that we weren’t really made for each other, but I thought we were trying. I need to get over it, because it’ll hurt lot worse when you actually leave. You took me by surprise, even though somehow I knew it was coming. You start saying that you’ll be starting uni in one year, and will be meeting new people (mostly girls). I totally get the fact that you were almost five years older than me. Usually I never cry, that’s when I realized I was in love with you. But, whom will I be myself with ? Simple, nobody. Now you really have done it, you finally did what you wanted, torn me appart, such a pity. You did actually, break me in every possible way, in the 3 fucking possible ways. I never cared about that, never cared about pain, because that was the only thing I’ve lived with; enduring. I was living for you, because I only was myself with you. Never faking, as a human I live in this huge lie, like every other human being. Because it’s not socially accepted to be depressed, ever. So I’ll keep on smiling when I break. It’s never enough for them. I want to be myself, at least with someone; that someone was you. But no, no more. I guess I’ll have to keep it all inside me. So, what do I do when my parents think that by giving me money and stuff means I’ll be happy, when my friends don’t even know who I really am, when I was broke in every possible way, when you leave after breaking me again, usually you fix me up. I guess I’ll keep wearing my mask, that never dares to show who I really am.