I use to think that if my parents changed and if I found some friends than I would like life again. That was the hope that I held on to for SO LONG.
Well, my parents changed and I now can actually say I like them. I have really great friends and a really great younger sister. I do well at school…
Except I’m numb. I can’t cry. I can’t be happy.
Everything seems SO pointless. I hate life.
There is NOTHING here for me. There is NOTHING that I actually enjoy. There is NOTHING I want to do or be.
It’s just POINTLESS. I HATE HATE HATE pretending that I’m okay and going on with this life when all I want to do is NOT EXIST ANYMORE.
I don’t want to kill myself because death isn’t what I’m searching for. I’m longing to NOT EXIST. Except how do I know that there isn’t something after death?
I just wish I wanted to live. why is that so freaking difficult?
1 comment
I understand completely. I don’t know if there is much more i can say than that. I too wish i could just…fade. Disappear completely. When did you first begin to realize you felt that way? If you dont mind me asking.