Every since I was born (for what I remember) everything for my family has been going wrong, I feel like it’s all my fault. I’m the middle child in a family of five. I’m the only girl child in my family, and i bet everyone knows it the hardest to be the middle child. Well, it’s true in my family.
When I stay away from them, They get mad because “I’m not with the family” and when I’m with them it seems that I’m ALWAYS the cause of the problem. my first question: What the fuck do I do? I hate always being the odd one out, it hurts the inside, and I’ve been hurting my outside to.
I have one older brother, he’s really smart and always seems to get everything right. He’s a 90 average student in grade 12 and going off to university to be a computer tech guy. He’s prbably a grade ahead of what they are learning at the university. I’m proud of him, but what does that leave for me? Being pushed harder to do as good at him? Yeh, exactly. My Father is also a computer Tech guy, he got the same as my brother in highschool, so theres a favorite already.
My other brother is 10 now. He’s a little on the retarded side, i mean that seriously. He goes to the SPED classes in his school. Since he’s “special” Where does that leave my “Mom”, he’s the favored for her.
Then theres me. I’m 14 years old with no one there but a few friends who have changed themself because of me. Ever since I started. . . cutting, they have also. I don’t see why, they all have great families that love them and brothers of sisters that arents favorite by there parents. I’m not all “Whoo is me” of whatever the fuck that is, but I want to know what the hell I should do. I’m always left out. I’m surprised I have friends and guess what! My user name, Thats my first and middle name mixed together. Fuck my life.