Every since I was born (for what I remember) everything for my family has been going wrong, I feel like it’s all my fault. I’m the middle child in a family of five. I’m the only girl child in my family, and i bet everyone knows it the hardest to be the middle child. Well, it’s true in my family.
When I stay away from them, They get mad because “I’m not with the family” and when I’m with them it seems that I’m ALWAYS the cause of the problem. my first question: What the fuck do I do? I hate always being the odd one out, it hurts the inside, and I’ve been hurting my outside to.
I have one older brother, he’s really smart and always seems to get everything right. He’s a 90 average student in grade 12 and going off to university to be a computer tech guy. He’s prbably a grade ahead of what they are learning at the university. I’m proud of him, but what does that leave for me? Being pushed harder to do as good at him? Yeh, exactly. My Father is also a computer Tech guy, he got the same as my brother in highschool, so theres a favorite already.
My other brother is 10 now. He’s a little on the retarded side, i mean that seriously. He goes to the SPED classes in his school. Since he’s “special” Where does that leave my “Mom”, he’s the favored for her.
Then theres me. I’m 14 years old with no one there but a few friends who have changed themself because of me. Ever since I started. . . cutting, they have also. I don’t see why, they all have great families that love them and brothers of sisters that arents favorite by there parents. I’m not all “Whoo is me” of whatever the fuck that is, but I want to know what the hell I should do. I’m always left out. I’m surprised I have friends and guess what! My user name, Thats my first and middle name mixed together. Fuck my life.
2 comments
hi-im glad that people find a way 4ward-4 me there is no way 4ward and in japan people meet all the time 2 passover 2gether and i know 4 a fact it has been done in england many times look at ash site and news reports-i am certain of what i want and wd like2 meet another adult and i specify rational adult who feels the same way-i am not silly and yes ive thought about everything and in perspective-i am in the uk-thanku 4 the txts and calls ive received already but i feel so far as though u r indecisive and unsure and i only want contact with people who r sure as i am and wd like comfort by holding each others hand-the h2s and coal method wd be most appropriate and wd give the desired outcome 2 us both-i am still scared and if u ffl the same as i do and want it 2 end as badly as i do then pls contactme-pls do not contact me if u r undecided cos i am going 2 tell u 2 go away and try harder 2 live-cos obviously theres still hope 4u-in london and will b persistant until i find sum1 likeminded-pls text or ph anytime-i wd not give out my number if i was not serious-i wd like genuine souls who r like ,chased,on 18th sept-her story echoed mine-so glad 4 her that the strength and inner calmness came 2 do it-if u wd like 2 b my companion pls txt or ph me-07827 514 375 thanku and kind regards
Sorrowfulwisdom, if only you could see how amazing you are! Your friends copy you? My god, You are the leader of the pack to them! Being a leader means they recognize your passion and strength of character! Your parents treat you this way because they see you as strong and independent enough to handle it, they see how cruel the world is, and are doing everything they can to push you to succeed.