I am so sick of life. I feel like shit all the time. I have no friends, no family, no nothing. I am married, but am in a unhappy relationship. the biggest thing is i have no one to talk to. Not one person that really cares. If I died right now not one person on the face of this earth would care. I would be forgotten about the very next day. I dont matter, have no purpose, no reason to be here. I would liketo be gone, but cant find a resonable way to bow out. I dont know how to end it. If my life had purpose, if I had friends and family and was useful than I would want to be here, but the sad truth is I have nothing and am nothing. I keep waiting, hoping things in my life will get better, but it never does. In fact, it seems to get even worse. How do you live when you are already dead. I was with a group of people yesterday and had to go to the bathroom several times to contain myself and get self control. I was laughing and joking and the “life of the party” and than into the bathroom in tears. Went home and thought about how I could end this. I have tried to talk to a few people, but they dont know what to say or dont care and just say “get over it”. I have no where to turn. I cant even seem to funciton anymore. I have been in bed for almost 23 hours right now. didnt work today, no shower for 5 days, over eat ot eat nothing. I am heartbroken and have had enough. I wish I had something to live for. I wish I could sanp my fingers and make it all better. Have friends, feel loved, feel cared for adn importaint. I wish I could have deep meaningul relationships with people, but I get it. It is not meant for me. I am uselss, sensless and hopeless. I tried God, but I think I have made even God turn away from me. I am all alone all the time and can’t take it anymore. I just want it to be over. I want someone to end it for me. I am so weak I can not even figure out how to end this.