Hi Jenttar, I noticed your reply to niki on another post, I responded to you but it is waiting in moderation, so I thought I would post my reply just for you 🙂
Being suicidal doesn’t always have anything to do with your circumstances, many wealthy people kill themselves. I think it depends on how realistic you are about life, weather you’re poor or rich, if you are smart enough to to have a realistic view of what your future holds, and you don’t like it, that can make you suicidal. Whilst I agree to a certain degree that we never really know what our future holds, I think it is some kind of defense mechanism that humans have created, another reason to ignore the obvious and believe in something ‘magical’. It’s all about that ‘hope’ thing that we all have until we are worn down to such a degree that we can no longer fool ourselves. Jenttar; that russian girl in the film you watched, although her life was mapped out to be shit, she still had some hope when she was in russia but she lost that hope when things got worse. The reason her opinion changed so dramatically about suicide is simply due to that fact that she could no longer count on ‘hope’.
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I agree with you, I grew up in a very poor neighborhood and no-one was suicidal there. A boy I knew was abused by his father, and he was seen as ‘weird’ – when I got to about 22 I thought of that boy and wondered how the hell he survived such a shitty childhood and I asked about him to old acquaintances, turns out he killed himself when he was 21! He had a wife and 2 kids by then but hung himself. I agree that hope can get you through, but eventually you just have to give in to reality and when that happens you’re fucked.
Very few people live their lives without either hope, religion or a goal of some kind to aim for. This gives your life purpose, without a purpose we die. However, all these purposes are created in our own heads, and they are an illusion so they are never attained. There is no purpose to life, it is what it is, you go along with it whilst your getting something out of it, some get more out of it than others, and some unfortunately, get nothing at all. Assuming everyone to love or even like life is like wanting everyone to wear the same hairstyle.
I’ve noticed that all the people who like (or tolerate) life, do have ‘hope’ of some kind, or religion or a sense of a higher power either in God or in themselves. Why is it that no-one wants to be realistic? I’m not saying that none of those things exist, but it troubles me that in order to be happy in life you have to believe in something beyond it!!! Which kind of confirms that life in itself is shit!!
Hi, thanks for that, man-from-earth. Tammy, it’s not just stuff beyond this life that people rely on for happiness, when I visited my GP to say I was depressed she told me I should get a boyfriend – seriously! In fact she went on about it for about 15 minutes and in her words ‘I am going to waste if I don’t have a man in my life’. This tells me that if people stop and contemplate life without anything to distract them, then it is fatal. That’s all my GP taught me.

Sad thing is, I don’t want to die, I just want to live my life exactly how I want to without being answerable to any other human. My not being able to do that is making me suicidal. There is still a deep happiness inside of me that really loves life, much more than any of my friends or family that ‘appear’ to be happier than me, their happiness is all based on nonsense – I have a deep respect and love for everything alive. But I can no longer live in the meaningless, it is crippling me and causing me pain and illness (migraines, backache, depression), I honestly think I am allergic to society. I feel the only way I could carry on in society is if I am physically doing something about it, such as tearing the genitals off rapists with my own hands, in fact I want to kill every fucker that is abusing and using other people for their own gains, if I can’t do that then I can’t live amongst them, I need to be placed on a mountain in peru away from everyone. Or dead.
Life has no meaning other than what man creates for himself. We’re now all completely incapable of seeing reality because it is far too brutal, so we live in a place inside ourselves that allows us to escape. We all end up old and bitter (unless your stupid) due to the fact that we have spent our entire lives thinking about illusions and none of it ever coming to fruition. Life has a way though of making you face reality at some stage, even if it is later in life. The smart ones see it earlier. It’s why so many great scientists kill themselves.
Jentttar; I would live on a mountain in peru with you, or go around murdering rapists 🙂
I’d like everyone that reads this thread to watch this little video:
http://wimp.com/excitingday/
Maybe you’ll see some beauty in things for just a moment.
Jentttar: Even a life on a mountain in Peru would still leave you answerable to the system, nowhere is safe from this, and we allowed it to happen, we can only blame ourselves.
I saw your email addy on another post, do you mind that I have emailed you? I don’t know why but I feel i really want to talk to you, so I hope you respond.
alluvion,
you are lovely. Thank you. I’ve just watched the video you posted.
Many of us here, offer ourself a dream, a protection against the cruel world we may have.
A beautiful dream, it is, only has to be destroyed by the hatred to put nightmares within.
alluvion: This video you posted; this clearly shows that the only way to get through life is to pretend it’s something other than what it is, which is the same in adult life as hope, religion or spirituality. I’m struggling to see how this is in any way a good way of living. I don’t want more illusions and faiths and hope, I just want the truth.