[Why do people reappear in your life, making you think they care about you, but they only end up reminding you why you’re alone?]
Well, decided I’ll hang myself [if it comes to that] instead of doing the helium bag thing. Used to be scared of hanging myself, thought about pain and how long it would take to die. I’m not afraid of that anymore.
Not sure where to find that perfect balance between being optimistic & not setting expectations too high. So instead I decided not to be optimistic at all. There’s no such thing as fair, or earned, or merit. Just a lie they tell to keep people on the grind, chasing the proverbial gold at the end of a rainbow because most of the time we’re dumb enough to run that marathon ignoring the fact that it ain’t a rainbow and that golden pot is a bucket of dog shit. You can’t touch a rainbow.
4 comments
My dear, you really shouldn’t kill yourself just because a friend makes you feel bad. You have to be your own saviour. Things will improve just wait and see, life is ups and downs, you just gotta go with the flow xx
Anon13: People are SHIT especially when you really need em, they inevitably prove themselves to be shit. You can’t die, aren’t we getting wed? I haven’t even taken you on a date yet! You like the same films as me and you seem straight down the line – my ideal mate. Go on, leave me like everyone else does . . .
Anon13: I saw your last post too, I wanted to respond but second thought it for fear of being attacked by ‘do-gooders’. When I read your last post about whether or not these little signals were a sign not to kill yourself (such as the fella emailing you), I did think, sure, it could be a sign that you are not to kill yourself, or it’s a sign to show you what you already know to be true, and that is that hardly anyone (if anyone) really cares when things are really bad, everyone is selfish and only wants you if you improve their life in some way and make them feel good about themselves. It’s all about arselicking and pandering to people. Someone such as yourself will suffer in this shithole, like me. I am also on the verge of going ahead with it. The only rainbows to be had are in stupid peoples heads. I’m pretty sure this life is a punishment, a sick joke.
There are still good people who *do* sincerely care for you,..but it’s unfortunately true what someone said here: the numbers are just far & few in between.
Anon13, I have replied to your email,..I really hope I can hear back from you/see your reply back.
What you need now is a true, sincere friend. Somebody to pour your heart into. Somebody who won’t be an asshole, judgemental, users, and all other craps. Somebody who’re also like-minded, and are experiencing quite similar things.
“Nobody can’t live alone”
We are not created or born to be a lonely creature…nobody would be able to stand that pain of loneliness. A soul need to find another soul,.to nourish each other.