So I figured it out today.
Why I’m like this and why I feel this way all the time.
I’m not depressed. Honestly. There’s nothing in my life for me to be depressed about. I’m not sad.
But I AM apathetic. It’s hard to find a reason to care. It’s hard to find motivation to keep me staying here. It’s easier for me to just think, “Why even bother? Why should it make a difference at all? Does it even matter?”
I try to keep my head up by expecting something exciting, but nothing changes. Life has just become a mundane cycle for me and I’m stuck in the center of it. I can’t really stand the mediocrity. Everywhere I look, I’m not surprised, nothing changes. Everything is just stagnant.
It seems a selfish reason for wanting to go, I agree, but honestly all the bad and all the good don’t even matter to me anymore. All that’s really left for me in the end is the emptiness.
6 comments
Stick around till Oct 13. How would you kill yourself?
Drowning seems to be the best way for me now.
I can’t stand seeing my own blood and I’m stupid when it comes to chemicals so it seems like the easiest path.
Why Oct. 13th by the way?
alluvion: you’ve picked my interest. what’s going to happen on Oct 13? and is it going to happen globally, or only in certain parts of the planet? would appreciate some more detailed info. thx.
H2S WILL BE MY WAY
niki,
I googled about the date mentioned, and found these.
youtube.com/watch?v=sL3siS_5WUs&feature=related
I didn’t even finished watching the following after downloaded it.
youtube.com/watch?v=0bmIOQkkdc8
Do I believe that aliens will display their ufos worldwide on that date 2010 Oct. 13 ?
No. I don’t. Basing on the physiognomics, the author is the “fighter” type.
The interviewer is just an ordinary “follower” type.
So how can they be connected to aliens, in spiritual sense !!?
Also on that day, is not suitable for opening ceremony, astrologically speaking.
And I hope that I be all wrong, since it’d be fun to see circus in play.
I understand your fight against mediocrity. I always thought I’d do something special but my life is as average as imaginable and it’s killing me (unfortunately not literally). If you don’t have anything to hope for to improve your life then I don’t know why you should keep going. At least death will be exciting and maybe whatever lies beyond will keep your interest more.
Drowning seems very difficult to me as you have to overcome your natural instinct for survival for a few minutes… good luck!