I’m through now trying to find a reason to live. I found a few, explored them and had more doors shut on me. I know it’s not manly, but I was pretty damn scared of killing myself – oh sure the planning was easy, but when it came to the time, I felt I just wasn’t ready and it scared me. This past week I have been feeling braver about it. I have a plan that I’m comfortable with, and to tell you the truth, I’m a little excited about it, and I feel peaceful. I’m not gonna fuck about when the time comes, I’m gonna down a couple of whiskeys and pull the trigger. First though I’ve got DVD’s to get through.