I’m 49 yrs old. Never thought I’d make it this long. I’ve had thoughts of suicide since I was probably 13, but have been unhappy as long as I can remember. Sure, there were intermittent moments of feeling ok, but those were fleeting. The shit always floated back to the top. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, but can’t afford medication anymore. Don’t know that it ever did any good.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking of suicide alot lately. I already know that they could put “She never amounted to much” on my tombstone. The only reason I refrain is because I know my parents would be devastated. However, my whole life feels devastating to me. I wake up every night and just cry, I am so lost. I just was reading about the helium method, as I don’t want to leave behind some horrific mess for anyone to find. I have prayed for a miracle, most of my life. it doesnt come
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Hi…im kind of new to this site so imma try this out, bare with me. I wish i could meet you, it sounds like you need a friend. I too have been diagnosed with clinical depression and Seasonal depression, so you can imagine what holidays are like. Im a fairly young person to be feeling the way that i do. Depressed all the time, ups and downs, broke up with my boyfriend because of some childish things that happened. I have had five very close people pass on me this year and all of them passed at very difficult times. Forgive me if it sounds like im comparing myself to you, im not trying to in anyway. Just sharing a bit on what has happened in just this year. It sounds like, for you, that you have had a very hard life so far, i can only imagine what has happened to make you feel this way. U know…you may feel that you have not amounted to much but to someone you have. Someone that you have met, either long time or just smiling at a random person, one way or another, they thought the world of you, not just your parents. Instead of feeling lost, think about something that you did that was worth it to someone. Its a small start, but at least its a start. I cant give you anymore advice than what i have read and forgive me if im sticking my nose somewhere that it doesnt belong. It just sounds like you need a friend and death via helium doesnt really sound too…appealing to me personally.
Death will come. Life is only once. And yes its shit and painful but just feeel for this once knowing that peace is garaunteed to you.
Please try. Pleasd stick it through. Make the most of this one chance.
I take it you’re American Lynda. That’s rough! People don’t seem to mean much to your government over there. No wonder you feel that way about yourself. Its a country where you have to “amount to something”. Its a shit way to see things. You sound beaten and forgotten and I feel for you. Its hard enough to stay positive in this world with all the shit that goes on in ordinary life but there…..you’re forgotten before you’re born! Ya know somethin’…..you are worth something and you do amount to lots and you’ll never see that shit written on your tombstone because you have people that love you. Think of them! Can they help you out with your medication? I’m sure they would if they could….ask them!?!