Im only 14, I get it we all get depressed. We most likely all have suicidal thoughts to. Although I understand this I still feel alone. Even though I know I am not alone at all. I am “popular” in school, girls like me, and I have a crap load of friends. Even though this is true (and you all saw this coming most likely) I still feel depressed because of this one girl. Ive known her sense, like, 2nd grade. She had a huge crush on me sense 6th grade, and I finally asked her out, and she rejected me. I asked why, and she said its cause she wants my best friend and I was to slow? I understand, “Your only in your freshman year, even if you date a girl it is not going to last forever.”
Even knowing this it still hurts like fuck. It is like tearing my heart out and put it back in backwards so it rejects the blood causing me to slowly died out on the inside. Some of you will say “its just jealousy!” Its not. I have suicidal thoughts every day. Even though all my friends help, I still feel alone. Ive tried to overdose and hang myself. I once got my dads gun and almost shot. I know its just a girl, i am only 14, I should get over her… but what if you cant. What if you feel like you never could. I know that I should just get over her but it just kills me on the inside.
What should I do? I already talk to a counselor, and my parents almost everyday. Nothing changes though, and it feels like nothing will change. Why does my mind have to lie to its self? Is there something wrong with me? For a example, here is a true story:
My dad divorced my mom. I was not sad then and I am not sad now. He was a great guy, but what ever its life you know? Why am I not sad about that but I am sad about this one girl out of the 50 thousand girls I have seen? Why do I feel alone?
– Your friend, The screwed up kid.
3 comments
“What ever its life you know?” Exactly, I’m 14 also. And I know its hard to get over someone, but I did. I had a ridiculous crush on my teacher, for SUCH a long time. And knowing It was never going to be killed me, but I understood it and that helped me move on. I’m not samying you girls will never be together, but try and look at the bright side, it probably wouldn’t have lasted the rest of your life. She would have made you happy? Well find someone who will make you happier, because she’s stupid to let you go. It may be hard, but when you look back on it when your older, you’ll think “What was I thinking?”
damn, i wish i was 14 again… man, thts the age when one can really njoy, its the golden age… boy i wish we cud swap ages… its the best age to live, maybe a bit carelessly but definitely not to die… go explore the world, just start moving/walking, take public transport w/o tkt… i strongly believe tht at 14, u’vnt give life the best shot yet 🙂
damn.. dont worry i had to get over someone who i knew would never like me back. overtime you’ll just have to move on. and im not trying to be heartless,or careless when say this, but people who give you shit and make you hurt are not necessary to have in your life, so just forget about her. stay strong