So today is day 1, I think… I told my boyfriend yesterday that I need help, because I want to die. I don’t know, he was busy or something, and told me no you don’t, lets go to the cinema, the kids are waiting (his kids not mine by the way). So after that, the day got worse. I went to visit my parents, and was feeling better, until my partner came to pick me up, he told me he likes visiting my parents as my mom knows how to “deal with me”
By the time I got home last night I was ready, I wanted to die. I know how I want to do it, take two sleeping tablets, and once they start to kick in take the rest, but I didn’t have any at home, and the pharmacy was closed. I bought some today, I sat with them infront of me, I was ready, I was saying good bye, but my phone vibrated. It was Ian, asking if I slept well, he always sends me a message in the morning, and one again at lunch. I decided I wanted to talk to him at lunch, so I put the pills down, and waited. I’m glad I did, because as I said, today is day 1. I have a doctors appointment in an hour, I will try and tell him, I know I need help, I want to survive, I just don’t know how yet.Â
Today is day 1, I just have to aim for day 2
3 comments
It seems this Ian person cares for you more then your boyfriend does.
Ian is my boyfriend, sorry I wasn’t clear with that
Good for you, really, that takes A LOT of courage. Good luck, I sincerely hope you get better!