I say the word chicken but not meaning it at all because I know nothing about chickens! but what I do know about is pain not just any pain but full blown long term pain with very micro rays of light here and there but to far apart to create some type of long term happiness! So many ppl can’t talk and they run from what is eating away at them until it’s far too late for help some ask right away for help but the help comes at a super high price which the person can’t afford! I understand pain to the highest level higher then most I suffer from so many different things until I welcome death! I am selfish because I have four children but I am only staying around for my daughter she’s all I truly have at this point but what about when she becomes that mouthy teen will I no longer be able to hold on at that point and time???? what if she says those dreaded words all parents hate to hear (I HATE U I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN) will I snap and kill myself rite then and there???? Why am I in this sexless marriage as much as I believe he loves me for better or worst I have not been happy in this marriage for the last 6 yrs and every second minute hour day week month and yr I go through the motions not allowing him to touch me and the worst part is I don’t even truly remember when I started hating being married!!!! The really sad part is he loves me but I question that do he or is he in love with the me I use to be???? How can I fix what I tore up????
I never understood how I made the choice to be with this man I knew I didn’t truly love in the way one loves another when you decide to be together FOREVER! I regret leading him on for over 20 yrs all because I was tired of losing! But now I stay out of quilt but why since neither one of us could possibly be happy???? Do we stay together just for our children or do we love them and ourselves enough to call it quits? What do we do now and how do we go about talking about it and fixing it when I hate for him to even talk to me and all though he won’t admit it there is no way he could be happy in this horrible marriage!
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Hey,
You’re not trapped. Please don’t feel trapped. It’s not the simplest thing to walk away, but it’s better for BOTH of you if you don’t love him – right?
When you got married, you maybe did that because you thought you could make it work. Which is reasonable. Many people get married without considering what love really IS anyway and lie to themselves. The important thing is that your heart was in the RIGHT place, that you WANTED it to work – and maybe, just maybe you feel this way NOW, because your heart is telling you that you put YOU second. (Hearts are like that.) The good thing is that there is always a ‘tomorrow’, that you are always FREE to CHOOSE what you do next. Even if it’s not the easiest answer. Love yourself first. Xox
thanks I am trying to leave it’s not as edasy as I thought it would be since he is sooooo in love with me! Plus the kids and spliting everything p evenly and the divorce thing I honestly never wanted to do so what do I do there if I leave it’s not fare to him for me to hold on to that piece of paper that i was over before the ink even dried on it!
I’m a 61 yesr old man who dron his depression in alcohol for decades, now I stop (1/2 years ago) and all hell breaks loose. Fisrt it was horrible depression, now the dperession remains but now I’m riddled with anxiety. I take 8 zanax a day and does nothing, I’ne hd 9 electroshock therapy becasue no anti depressents or benzo work. STILL THE SAME.. I want out so bad but everyone is to paranoid to give a reasonable method because the worry about the police monitoring, and even if they are, your telling someone how it can be done ………… not them in particulal I wish you luck and sorry for your grief. I’m still trying to find a way theat’s a sure thing. I don’t wnat to go, but I can’t bear this anymore. I’m tried medical. acupunture, 2 years of therapy. I’ve run out of ideas.