in all reality when i try and think of the reason i am suicidal i can’t think of anything. im 19 years old, i still live with my parents, i dont have a job, and the love of my life isÂ with someone else. to me none of this in context gives me any right to feel bad for myself or dare i say kill myself concidering the hardships majority of the people on here go though. i want to do it becasue i hurt her. i left her when she needed me and im never going to forgive myself for it. if it would take it back i would kill myself a thousand times over, but it wont. if she didnt still love me id be gone right now but i cant do that to her. its even more selfish then what i did in the first place yet its all i can think about. im scared but not for me. iÂ know id be happier dead or if anything not sad, but iÂ cant do that to her. iÂ know she would think it was because of her.