my sadness as if a bystander

while Chen was first running for election of Taiwanese presidency, his deportment like a pheasant only laying out a sure short-cut to his benefit if a phoenix-like of presidency he would turn into, soon his corruption leading to his prison for life was never a surprise for me.

And what about a sly monkey-face in the eagle kingdom was to be elected, I then said its people would be in hell of disasters.

There are always tell-tale signs.
It’s just what you are, then what you’ll show on the look.
So ?
Could I alone overturn the votes of the vast majority ? No.
I could only say, when you choose side you choose the upcoming outcome !
As if a by-stander like me, I could only sadly see the world goes round.

Before the incidence of 1989 massacre, the student leader in pyjamas was complacent in the greeting room that the prime minister would finally agree to a talk. This student was crossing his leg wide on his thigh, swinging and shaking his high-foot on his slipper, reclining himself low with his both arms stretched wide on the back of the long sofa in the government conference room, and at this time the prime minister came in and eyed this guy a few times in disgust, especially when he focused on the student’s swaying foot, the camera took a close shot on the minister’s look, and I yelled in front of the tv, I said, “Oh, gosh, this kid will be a dead meat”.
I saw at that instant the flash of the prime minister’s eye slashing like a sword, so ready to kill.
That country was practicing the parenting adminstration, ordinary lives being treated as dispensable were not news.
Unfortunately what the students backing up was the selfish devil’s advocate, the student leader’s outrageous arrogance causing the consequence of lost of lives of many while he fled secretly abroad and became a popular guest of honor and soon established him the outpost advantages and have become a fat glutton.
And he’s the kind who always likes to trying out all the fresh new restaurants.

While right or wrong is concerned, it’s actually hard to distinguish, especially on one’s behalf of advantage.
And what’s left to remember still, history is history.
You don’t kill all the Japanese just because of the Pearl Harbour’s incidence.
War is already a sin to start with.
It’s only wise to see that it’ll never happen again.

My mother was having malignant liver’s watery blisters, but she refused to be treated with traditional Chinese herb therapy, because of her dislike of the bittery taste of herbs, however she rather listened to some woman-gossiper to take in some irregular herb that smell kind of like dung.
Then what could I do ? I couldn’t just tie her down, to force feed what I think instead was right, that would have been against her wish.

The moment she finally was in hospital bed, predicted by doctor that she was dying, and she was then unconsciously gasping for her last breaths, and I didn’t want to see her die like that, so I put my fingers below her neck and massaged there, she soon in time of 10 minutes recovered to normal breathing. Then I also adjusted the optimum height of her pillow for her.
It was 1 am, I told my relatives to go back home first get some sleep, and to take my turn in the morning.
And they all said, “if you stay, we stay; if you go, we go”. OK, I was the one who had the car. But they were all rich enough if to take a taxi.
There I kept on feeling my hands on my mother’s body to see which part she needed massaging, but they kept talking and talking I just couldn’t concentrate, and just heard them pestering saying that she would soon die within days.
Ok, I said, “I’m driving you all home”.
At about 2:20 am, the hospital called and said my mother was dead.
When arrived back to the hospital, I saw my mother dead with her mouth open, and 2 extra pillows down below her head !

I had to come into terms of myself for not blaming the nurses being ignorant.
How could they set a patient to a position bending her throat to breathe !
Fate is somehow fixed in someways, we have to understand, as if that we should accept and let it be.

In this site, I tried to help with my knowledge.
Gladly that I found a few genuine souls with passion of love so immense that I was moved.
But sadly that they were all underage, and all those kindred in passions of grown-ups have already evolved through their relentless years, already turned them into snobby haters.
And of those underage, though they pre-matured into this present stage but already brushed with sex disruption.
At times, I had tried engaging myself into helping, and found being treated like a pedophile, or as a hindrance to their path in welcoming their dream of expecting a young knight on rocking horse to rescue them.
Only one rare angel I found haven’t been contaminated with this kind of sex disruption, kaitlynsierra, an innocent lovely soul.
A 14 years old in need of her skin-shedding stage through her helping cleansing to those disrupted hatred young souls who’re waiting for redemption, and that’s not even within my scope of power can be of help to but pointing her the direction.
And she was the only sure beneficiary from this site.

And those 13 to 17, even with those tremendous passion of fire of love, are unrealistically hypocriting their ways, will sooner or later be insane, or degenerated or depraved, or to be abandoned again.
While, the rest, the grown-ups just remain themselves as the skeptics and haters of life.

It’s really sad to witness a world this gray.
Seems like everyone is just lurking for the good chance to snatch the cheese from the mouse-trap.
Everyone is for himself, not much different to the outside world. Go or no-go.
As if a competition, all forgetting it’s a brotherhood haven, a co-op of fraternity one craves for.
It’s the warmth of love each of us needs, just a thought enough, of living within that radiates even when one walks and adequate to provide our smile along the way.
Some rather choose hatred into dying, even wanting to see others suffering first, and using others’ body to perform their intentional maiming, inflicting pain onto others so to derive pleasures to their own to sustain.
I don’t know if or what I shall live for in a world if that’s full of hate and mistrust.

And helping is useless in a one-way street, if the gates of those heart remain closed.
My gift anointed in healing, though not the magic stuff, but aspects of emotionally, spiritually and physically are all knowledgeable within me. The most important thing is your willingness to come toward me,
otherwise I’ll be damned for messing up your term of suffering deserved.
I’m the kind who draws energy from helping those kind-hearted to getting well, but the wicked selfish ones had sucked me dry instead. Unconditional helping has already left me barely a living.
Here leave my email, hoping, just hoping, there is still a valuable soul willing to be pulled out from its troubled water, or a dew to drop upon me.
fireflieslite@yahoo.com

For those who believe nothing but magic, miracles, here’s a site.
Here is one magical healer who proclaimed as powerful that I could only describe him a saint.
http://www.saibaba.ws/

I haven’t really met a magical or divine healer yet, but this one is worth investigating for some of you.

There was once someone who flew across country to ask for his blessings. What’s funny was that this person brought some “Hello Kitty” and “cat that raising one hand for luck” kinds of ceramic dolls, for him (actually in one of his divisions by his disciple of some sorts) to bless. The dolls brought back home later oozed out some white product like milk. Could that milk be treated as some kind of medicine ? Well, I don’t have further information of that.
I only know that benevolent gods don’t like readily jump in to help personally in this reality world to interfere. They only use others as tools.
And human is one of their tools.