Right now, I’m about 40%…yea 40% certain that I want to just end it all. Not be apart of the world that drove me to cry because I’m not good enough, that turned close friends against me, that made my parents constantly push me to be the best, that drove me to strive to be this person that doesn’t exist in which I have to constantly put work and school before my boyfriend and friends, wait never mind the friends part… I don’t have any. I guess even if I did do something as stupid as to end my life I can honestly tell you no one would miss me. And I think that’s almost the sadder part then ending my life.. Is that no one would care. Everyone thinks I’m a ***** and I’m mean. But I’m not. I just choose not to let people in because well, well becaues, people always leave, and it’d be so much easier for me to just go to sleep and let that be the last time. It’d be so much easier for people to get through the day without me. To not have to deal with my criticism, or my “attitude”, or my negative energy. Whatever it is. But if i did end my suffering… what would I leave behind? Or who? I guess the only true people still close to me would be family..and my boyfriend. This would hurt him the most.. and I can’t live with knowing this would kill him for the rest of his life. Wow, ha. That’s a bad choice of words. But I know in whats left of my heart, is that if I didn’t come back to him, it’d break him. End him. What do I do?