Nothing Else Matters…

Hi, my name is Zak and I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t fit in. Nobody respects me. I don’t have any particular talents. I used to think I could sing, but quickly realised that I couldn’t after being “booed” off the stage at a school talent show. Music is my one and only escape, but nobody likes my music (Metal) thinking that it’s “just noise”. Sometimes I come home and cut myself. I constantly lie to my girlfriend so that she doesn’t get worried about me. She knows I’m suicidal. I just think the world would be a lot better if I was gone. Nobody wants me around. A few people have egged me on to kill myself. To date, I’ve attempted to kill myself three times, once using knives and twice by jumping into traffic. I couldn’t do it though. I can’t do anything right, as my own parents say. I don’t blame them for my feelings, however. As far as my parents go, I’d say they’re pretty good. I was raped when I was six by my babysitter’s son. I hardly sleep at night due to the night terrors. I just want a release from life and all the bull that comes with it.