Well, I’ve got news for you: you’re not.
I’m relatively new to this site, but I’ve posted here before. My other posts were relevant but slightly off-topic, so I’m going to say something a little different here while still getting at the same main principle.
It seems like almost everyone on this site has a completely unwarranted loneliness complex. That is, everyone seems to believe that their depression is somehow unique. Everyone thinks that their suicidal thoughts are too different from anything that anyone else can relate to. People who are depressed and / or suicidal just don’t bother to fully invest themselves in sites like this because they fool themselves into thinking that no one will listen or understand. Whether they’ll admit it or not, it’s likely that most people who have visited this site – or any site like it – have felt this way at some point. Simply put, the fact that we have all felt this way is ironically the very fact that proves these feelings to be incorrect.
You see, it stands true that we’ve all lived different lives. Some of us are 40 while others are only 14. Some of us are male and some of us are female. Obviously, we have all had different experiences, but those experiences have led us to think the SAME thoughts and feel the SAME feelings.
Now, I’d like to point out that I’m NOT saying we’ve all thought the same EXACT thoughts word-for-word. I’m also not saying that we all share the EXACT same definitions for pain, suffering, depression, or especially what it means to be suicidal. We have all experienced these feelings differently, and those differences make us…well, different.
But there is at least one thing we all have in common: WE HAVE ALL EXPERIENCED THESE FEELINGS.
We may not understand why they exist. We may not agree on how to rid ourselves of these horrible sensations. Hell, we may not even agree on how to spell the words. However, we all know that these feelings are REAL, and that fact should stand as a reminder that none of us should ever feel alone.
It is the plain and simple fact that we are NOT alone that brings me back to this site. My previous posts crudely suggested that we, the sufferers of pain, depression, and suicidal thoughts, should not kill ourselves but should instead unite in a more organized and progressive manner than that which is provided by The Suicide Project. I’m here to propose that idea again, but in more detail this time around.
I believe that we SHOULD actively participate in sharing our thoughts and experiences – as fully and as accurately as we can – so that we, as a community, can come to fully understand our experiences. Once we do, I believe it will be infinitely easier for all of us to fully overcome and eradicate depression and suicidal thoughts. After all, those of us who have experienced true misery know that no one really ever wants to stay miserable. This is, of course, why some of us have contemplated (and others have committed) suicide.
However, ridding ourselves of pain and misery would not be the only goal here. I believe that too many organizations of the “healing” nature have stopped short of their full potential. They’ve acted as “venting places” but have offered no other services whatsoever. I’ve mentioned in my previous posts that venting is counterintuitive. In doing so, you’re encouraging your subconscious to be angrier and sadder more often. Therefor, venting is NOT a helpful thing to do. It is, in fact, harmful to your mental well-being, so all of these “venting places” are starting to bother me.
Don’t get me wrong, though – sharing one’s experiences is one of the greatest ways to enhance one’s understanding of those experiences. However, on sites like The Suicide Project, where  no one has any obligation to honestly praise or criticize anybody else, it’s hard to expect that many people will be enlightened beyond their own limited perspectives. In fact, I’m surprised by how often people DO interact on this site. After all, it stands true that The Suicide Project, like so many other sites and organizations, is little more than a “venting place”, and I think we deserve better.
So, I’m currently in contact with a few people who all seem interested in putting these ideas into action. I met them all through this site, and their interest in my previous posts gives me hope that others on this site may share that interest.
We want to create a new site. It would be one where people wouldn’t post vague and unhelpful opinions, but would instead make honest and realistic observations in an effort to help one another heal and grow. We’re tired of seeing angst-ridden poetry and immature claims about humanity and its flaws – these things are generally useless and potentially harmful. They are only the angry words of people who usually want little more than to vent.
We want to meet and help people who honestly and earnestly seek that help. After all, suicide is often an attempt to eliminate depression and misery. We believe that there are better answers than suicide – real answers – and we believe that we can find those answers if we work together.
So, we all want to learn from one another’s experiences so that we might reach a better understanding of depression and suicide. That’s the driving force here – we want to learn, grow, and prosper, because ultimately, we are the only people in the world who are capable of FULLY understanding depression and suicide. And, with our knowledge and experience combined, we can show humanity what it truly means to experience these feelings. That way, they can finally understand how and why they SHOULD help people who are depressed and / or suicidal.
In closing, I’d like to point out that I’m targeting a very specific group of people right now – I’m speaking only to the people who REALLY know depression and REALLY understand what it means to be suicidal. These are the only ones who truly understand that help can sometimes be a necessity for life. We want everyone who understands this simple principle to help our cause in any way that they can.
My email address is Devonfayr@gmail.com. Talk to me. Bounce ideas off of me. Help me (and the others) get the project started. And please help to spread the word that no one on this planet should ever have a reason to feel alone.
Many thanks and best wishes to all.
12 comments
I think this a greta idea if we could somehow start places where peopls like me could feel safe enough to tell others what we are going throug and get help and advice it would be monumently helpful.
That’s the idea, Kina. We want everyone who has ever known pain to feel as if they’ll always have at least one place to turn. I can assure you that the people I’m in contact with right now are all understanding individuals who meet that criteria. Since we haven’t launched our own site yet, we can talk here or through email if you’d like.
Sounds too good to be true.
Of course it seems that way, alluvion, but your statement is no more than an excuse not to act on the feelings and facts you know to be true. I’m not blaming you for it, because all human beings are sort of coded (in this world society) to not trust one another, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from actually helping us. We’re really just trying to give it a shot. What’s the worst that can really happen if you try? You fail? Is that so scary?
Well it actually helps to see this. And I fully agree. I must say my recent post was venting, simply cause I didnt know what else to do. but what you suggest sounds like a great idea.
Nickfit, that’s kind of the point. We’re still trying to get this started. Please email me if you have any interest at all.
It’s a alright plan.
I’m interested and it sounds very cool. One point though. When you do get to the point where you want to ‘vent’, I think you need to be encouraged to talk to start that healing process. I wouldn’t want to discourage that because I think it makes people clam up. You would then not get to the point where you wanted to see what people had to say about your pain.
I don’t want to focus on the doom and gloom of bitter depression (it’s taken long enough to learn to live), but I can’t help feeling that those things are a fundamental part of getting better. We hit the bottom. Then we come back up…?
Also, where are the Samaritans in all of this? Are you not nervous of the responsibility of such a project?
Sorry for the delayed response.
Aimee, I think you’re right to a certain extent. Venting is a practice that is not very smart or helpful, but it’s still something that people are comfortable with, and the ultimate goal of this project would be to help people become comfortable.
I’m not really nervous about anything. Especially considering that a movement of this sort has already been established at the Suicide Forum, the “responsibility” of Samaritans has already been distributed. At this point, what I’m trying to propose is a manner through which people can try to educate the general public about the real causes of suicide. That way, suicidal people wouldn’t have to turn to sites like this for help and comfort – their families and peers would actually understand and respect them, thus greatly reducing the risk of suicide itself.
That being said, I fully support the notion that any person should be able to weight their options and decide for themselves if they want to live or die. I just feel like too many people aren’t thinking about it properly.
My email address is up there if you’re interested in getting in touch.
Yeah. No one on this site is alone actually. If you’re not on this site, or any social site, and have no friends or anyone to talk to…then you’re alone (physically). Technically, if you believe that there is a God that exists, then you’re not alone.
Talking to people when you feel strongly enough to do this research is pointless. What can, and most often DOES happen is not what we want and/or need. Most people tell us how sellfish suicide is. Many will say “it’s not the answer”, or something similar. Also, you run the risk of being committed to mental hospital, or the mental ward of a hospital. You may say that I am not alone, howver I beg to differ. Aside from people I talk to online I am alone. I will say with extreme conviction that noone will miss me when I die. I have caused so much hurt and pain that I do not wish to cause any more.
Sometimes.. Experience and Feelings are the best teachers, and elaboration kills people. Emos are allergic to their thoughts, it’s a loop out of control, being rational for another may not be always an option, especially for those severe ones just venting their frustration. So what if the EQ is higher than the IQ? none of your words would matter, no one listens, no one reads, that’s what they think, till someone disproves their fantasy with another fantasy. Yes you’re right fantasy 1 + fantasy 1 = fantasy 2. The point is, when one is in limbo, doing the math in the view of reality can never exist in a world imagine by deep loneliness. Trust me, i’ve been there, suffocating myself with a pillow everyday, it didnt flatten my nose, but it did flatten my mind.