I’m young, but I’m not going to tell you just how young beause I’m ashamed of the thoughts I have been having. Ever since my father hit me I’ve had suicidal thoughts. I’ve even tried O.D with tylenol. Stupid right?
But I could’nt help it. I feel like no one knows I exist. I feel like I’m worthless and like I don’t have a place in this world. I never really fit in with anyone, I can’t say I’m an outsider but inside I feel like I am because no one knows the real me. They only know the side I let them see. No ones how I really feel. They can’t see my forced smiles or the sadness in my eyes.
I don’t even have a bestfriend. Someone who has the same feelings as me. Someone who understands me. I feel alone in this vast world and no matter how many people are out there not one knows the war thats happening inside me.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve even written my suicide note to my mom. But I was too much of a coward to go through with it. I’m such a coward. I can’t stand myself. Even as I write this I feel hopless. Like nothing I do is ever enough….I just don’t know anymore.
1 comment
Its not time for you to go, love.
Believe it or not, I think more than one person cares about you or loves you, including me and your God.
Your social life isn’t the only important thing in the world.
At least no one’s talking about you behind your back.
You just sit tight in your chair, and go through life.
Nothing is worth death.
You’re beautiful the way you are.
God mustve made you for a specific reason,
I mean why else would he have put you on this earth?
The people around you are nothing.
The house you live in isn’t the only house.
The school you go to isn’t the only school
The town you live in isn’t the only town.
The people you know aren’t the only people.
The state or place you live in isn’t the only place.
Even though the world we live in might be the only world.
You’re not alone.
You said you are young,
You have somany years until you die.
Why not stay and just watch?
Don’t you wanna be there for yourself when times are bad?
I believe that each person has two souls,
It’s like looking in to the mirror,
There’s you, and another you.
Talk to yourself it helps a lot.
Be nice to yourself,
If no one is going to be nice to you,
Then be nice to yourself.
If no one is going to care or love for you,
Then care and love yourself.
No one can do it better.
Its not your time to go yet.
Just wait on the bench,
Wait for someone to pop up.
No matter how cold it is,
Or how hot.
You need to stay through the whole game.
Because it’s not your time to go.