DON’T DO IT! Call 1-800-SUICIDE IMMEDIATELY if you can’t afford counseling. Suicide is not a romantic thing to do. You do have choices and things can get better. I’ve had lifelong depression which finally I have found the cause of and the reasons behind what happens to the brain. Get into therapy, tell someone how down you are, focus on the things in life that will get you through like art and music. You can live with depression. My husband killed himself in 2006. It is horror, hell, torture for those left behind. There is nothing pretty or heroic about it, you are not put up on a pedestal for taking your life. You leave a wake of ruination behind you. If you don’t succeed, you have to live with the damage you’ve caused yourself which can be lifelong. Suicide is serious. It is heart wrenching and very final. There is no coming back, like in the movies. There is plenty of help-go to a minister, counselor, etc. and get help. 1-800-SUICIDE is staffed 24 hrs./day 7 days a week. You don’t have to die or even think about it. You can get plugged into life again and find joy and happiness.