Wat Is On My Mind?

When is the last time you listen to a kid. It seems anyone under the age 21 is not listen to. Hell in schools all around the country, kids can get drugs knives and guns in because people don’t seem to listen. Teens, are viewed as young adults as long at they do what there told. What happens when that teen gets a mind and sees that the teachers are just telling us crap. Don’t you understand? You say your a friend to your kid and they can come to you but when they do all you do is yell and make them out to be the bad guy or just plain make them feel dumb. I for one can’t stand that I can’t mention my own brother with out my father jumping down my throat about how he don’t have a son. I can understand that you hate him and everything but no one and I mean no one can replace a BLOOD brother to me. I try to be good and forget him but hey whan you have known someone there whole life and then all of a suden you cant talk to them, you tend to want to brake that rule. It seems no matter what a kid dose at some point in time they are pushed aside by what there parents want. The question then ask what about the kids that have no one. What happens to them? There anger might bubble up and blow or they might just kill them selves and they are gone. I may just be ranting and talking to the wall but guess what. Some where out there a person is reading this and saying “god I know how that feels.”
Another question that keeps me looking to the sky is : Who are you and what do you see in your self?
Can anyone answer this and not have to think about it for days on in. NO if you have a mind. Think about it and then answer.
I am quite, nice, and at time can be full of hate. WOW! I just named just about every girl. So here is what I have come up with. My names is Nicole and I am 18. I don’t know what my tomorrow holds. I think about death 24/7 and in truth I am more afraid of what is in life then in death. I love scary movies even though I am a scared-y cat to the max. I have 23 ways I might what to die and I don’t really know what love is. I have been raped by four cousins and almost raped by a weird middle eastern guy. I have a guy that makes my heart jump but am afraid to show who I really am because I had a abusive ex boyfriend. I have multi-personality disorder and I love to cook. I am a big girl and have tried 100 way to lose weight but with no successes what so ever. My dad yells and my mom is slowly dieing. I am called a slut at school by everyone and I have not even had sex. I’m not sure what tomorrow might hold but I know that when I live each day I might die at night and I can wear a smile. I also think that if you do kill yourself, you not a wimp but you are braver then most b/c it takes balls to go through with it.
That’s all I got but hey it might be more then what you have. As always plz email me at npazdra@gmail.com and we can talk. I will listen and maybe I can help.
_A wondering soul-