Being a short male

I fell in love with a girl when i was 17 we lived together for 2 years. We loved each other. Last month of our relationship she was crying. I tried so hard. I loved her so much. But she wasnt happy. She was a saint. 5 foot 9 model beautiful heart. She cheated on me with a co worker. He is 17 and tall handsome. Huge shlong. I am 5 foot 5 decent looking my jaw became slightly larger on one side as I hit puberty. which threw off my looks. He was a friend and I loved her. I was very insecure I told her i was worried one day she would find out that this is all I am and i am not growing any taller. I was worried one day she would cheat on me, lie to me about it brake up with me and never want anything to do with me again, start dating a 6 foot 2 man with blond hair blue eyes. I said that 4 days before she cheated on me, and she asked me what i would do if she did. I told her i would probably kill myself, then i said it would kill me. I dont know why i said those things, and why it happened that way. But it did and with out a reason she wants nothing to ever do with me again. She never told me why she did it or why I mean nothing to her. She was the greatest loving beautiful person I had ever met. One day it all changed. turned into a human being I had never met. I honestly can say I dont know nothing about her, I feel like she just set me up like its a message from god or somthing that i dont belong here cause I still love her she was my first in every way, and I will always love her and want nothing but the best for her although she did these things. She changed my life well i was with her showed me what it is like to be loved, by her. I feel it was my height. This happened about 8 months ago and I still cant get over this. I have always been a popular person. Had many friends and girls that liked me. After she did this, I have had nothing but discrimination from everyone family cant say friends. Cause the majority of them started to hang out with her. I feel like I am not ment to be here. I dont know if i did somthing wrong. Cause she hates me she says she doesnt but how could she just tell me she wants nothing to do with me. Its a new chapter in her life she says. With out any word or comunication she said she loved me the day she cheated on me just like every other day. I never saw it coming.

I have been every where for help, I have had tharipists, drugs, psychiatric ward for severe depression.  I tried to ignore it all and just live life. Its all the same, you are treated extremely different for being short. Women plain and simple dont like short men, and if they do something is wrong with them. My ex did because she was young at the time. She experienced someone taller, and i can gaurantee you she is never going back to a short man again just like the majority of other women. I am not saying i was bad, I just dont amount no matter how much I try to a taller man. You see it everywhere especially with these economic down times, struggle for jobs, taller men prosper. Or with ufc fighting shorter man loses, anything to do with a shorter man v a taller man shorter man loses no matter what garaunteed. I have looked up anything online, to help me with this situation, their is nothing. I would like to know the most painless most efficient way of killing yourself.