So, like some others on this board, the only thing that’s prevented my suicide for the last 13 years is my love for my family. For over a decade, I’ve not been living, I’ve been finding ways to exist, to survive for my parents and siblings (I’m 26). At least my parents now have some idea of how I feel, though my brother and sister are unaware. How much, if any, would you reveal to friends/family about your frustration with life before you do something about it? From what I’ve read, it’s the question of “Why?”, and the suddenness of the situation that lingers longest with family members after a successful suicide.
To preempt any accusations of selfishness in my decision, I’d like to point out that it’s equally selfish for friends or family members to demand you survive and endure decades of unhappiness just so they can avoid a couple of years of coping. Furthermore, in several more decades they (and their memories and emotions) won’t be around either, so ultimately, their temporary sorrow will also pass.
I wish that I could sit down with my family and explain everything to them, how much I love them, and how that love still isn’t enough to offset the trouble and letdown of living. How great it would be if I and my family could agree “Ok, we’ll have three months together left, and then you’ll leave for whatever comes next.” Unfortunately, as has been established, this isn’t a perfect world.
Anywho, your input is welcome.
2 comments
Hi I’m also 26 and will be taking my own life. I am glad to see that I am not the only one who thinks family and friends are the selfish ones for forcing me to continue my existence just so they don’t have to grieve for a short time.
I have attempted suicide a few times now but they still don’t understand just how much I want this and keep trying to get me to talk to people about my problems but I’m all talked out.
Unless people have suffered what we go through every day then it is impossible for them to understand. I am not suggesting that you should commit suicide – I don’t know you or your circumstances – just letting you know that you’re not alone in the way you feel
I’ve been there. I’ve tried, unsuccessfully, to deal with problems in my own way. I’ve also been on the opposite side of suicide. I think sometimes it’s harder to deal with someone elses suicide when you’ve been there yourself. Because you sympathize when no one else does. You know what it took to get there and you struggle with your emotions on it…
You’re not alone in your thoughts. I won’t judge or lecture you, I never liked that approach myself. I would like to offer an open ear though, if you want to talk or even just vent about what’s going on. You can email me or comment through here…
All the best to you.
hoping4better11@gmail.com